325: When You’re Angry at God: Bringing Doubts + Unanswered Questions to Him When You’re Hurt with Niki Hardy
What do you do when life feels overwhelming, prayers go unanswered, or God seems silent? In this conversation with Niki Hardy, author of God Can We Chat?, we talk about bringing raw questions and doubts to God, and why honest wrestling with Him can actually strengthen, not weaken, our faith.
You’ll discover how to separate hurt from God and hurt from the church, and how remembering His presence can give you the courage to keep walking through mystery, pain and uncertainty.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
[00:00] Can You Bring Your Doubts and Frustrations Honestly to God?
[05:00] Why Wrestling with God Can Strengthen—Not Destroy—Your Faith
[09:00] What’s the Difference Between Hurt from God and Hurt from the Church?
[13:00] How Does God Meet Us in Silence, Mystery and Unanswered Questions?
[16:00] Could Doubt Actually Be a Superpower in Your Faith Journey?
[20:00] Practical Tools from God Can We Chat? to Process Questions with God
[24:00] What Role Does Community Play in Healing Spiritual Disappointment?
[28:00] How Can You Hold on to Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense?
[00:00] Can You Bring Your Doubts and Frustrations Honestly to God?
Niki shares how she grew up with a faith that didn’t seem to allow space for questions or anger toward God. When her mom, sister, and she herself were all diagnosed with cancer within a short time, she found herself asking, “God, where are you? Why are you letting this happen?”
Through her story, we see how voicing doubts honestly is not the end of faith but a step toward deeper intimacy with God. Scripture shows us countless examples—like Job, David, and Jeremiah—who expressed their pain before the Lord and were still called people of faith.
[05:00] Why Wrestling with God Can Strengthen—Not Destroy—Your Faith
In the midst of grief and fear, Niki discovered that wrestling with God didn’t push Him away; it drew her closer.
She talks about the freedom of realizing God doesn’t shame us for our questions but actually invites us to bring them. Just as Jacob wrestled with God and came out with both a limp and a blessing, our struggles can become the place where faith grows stronger.
[09:00] What’s the Difference Between Hurt from God and Hurt from the Church?
Many believers confuse pain caused by people in the church with pain caused by God.
Niki explains how her personal disappointments were often compounded by church culture that made her feel she had to “just be positive” or hide her doubts.
She emphasizes the importance of distinguishing God’s character from human failure, so we don’t mistakenly project the brokenness of people onto Him.
[13:00] How Does God Meet Us in Silence, Mystery, and Unanswered Questions?
One of the hardest realities is when prayers go unanswered.
Niki describes her own seasons of silence and the temptation to interpret God’s lack of immediate response as absence. But she points to the mystery of faith: God may not give the answers we want, yet He gives His presence.
Stories from Scripture reveal that God often works in ways beyond our comprehension, and waiting can deepen dependence on Him.
[16:00] Could Doubt Actually Be a Superpower in Your Faith Journey?
Instead of seeing doubt as a threat, Niki frames it as an opportunity.
Questions force us to examine what we believe and why, often leading to a stronger, more resilient faith. She reminds listeners that certainty isn’t the opposite of doubt—faith is.
By leaning into the tension, we allow God to reveal Himself in deeper ways.
[20:00] Practical Tools from God Can We Chat? to Process Questions with God
Niki introduces her book God Can We Chat?, which gives readers practical tools for having honest conversations with God.
She outlines the CHAT method as a way of bringing raw, real prayers before Him:
- C – Challenge: Tell God your struggle or question.
- H – Hear: Listen for what He may say through Scripture or His Spirit.
- A – Ask: Keep pressing in with your questions and desires.
- T – Trust: Choose to trust His character, even without full answers.
These steps show us that prayer isn’t about polished words, but about honest, ongoing dialogue with a God who welcomes us.
[24:00] What Role Does Community Play in Healing Spiritual Disappointment?
Faith questions can feel isolating, especially in church settings where doubt isn’t openly discussed.
Niki highlights the healing power of safe, authentic community—people who can sit with us in grief, hold our questions, and remind us of truth without rushing to fix us.
This mirrors the biblical picture of the body of Christ, where each member supports the other in weakness.
[28:00] How Can You Hold on to Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense?
Niki closes with encouragement that hope isn’t rooted in circumstances working out the way we want, but in God’s unchanging character.
She shares that her own journey with cancer didn’t resolve neatly, yet she learned that God’s promises of love, presence, and eternal life remain steady anchors.
Gratitude, even in small things, can help us cling to hope when life feels overwhelming.
RESOURCES:
Want practical help learning to manage your emotions better? Join us in Alicia’s Emotional Confidence Club!
We’re a Christ-centered community of women learning to process everyday emotions—like disappointment, overwhelm, and shame—using science-and-Scripture-based emotional management tools that make emotional healing practical, powerful, and personal.
Every 6 weeks we welcome new members and focus on a new topic.
Apply now to join the waitlist (limited number of spots available!) at AliciaMichelle.com/club.
RELATED EPISODES:
Ep 297: Believing in God’s Love Again After You’ve Been Hurt with Rachael Adams
Ep 195: Pt 1: How Can I Believe That God Loves Me (In My Head and My Heart)?
Ep 196: Pt 2: “How Can I Believe That God Loves Me (In My Head and My Heart)?”
