307: Staying Hopeful When You're Waiting for a Miracle: My Sister's Story of Addiction and Redemption

Have you ever found yourself waiting for a miracle, wondering if God is really working behind the scenes? Today, my sister Kris joins us to vulnerably share her story of trusting God through her journey with addiction. We talk about the power of prayer and how God used our family relationship to lead her toward healing and salvation. If you're holding on to hope and faith through hard times, this episode will encourage your heart and remind you that He is always in control.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

[00:39] “Good Things Are Coming, Even When We Can't See It Yet”
[06:32] My Sister's Experience with Addiction
[10:55] How Our Conversations on a Road Trip Played Into Kris’s Recovery Journey
[14:02] How Our Evolving Relationship Inspired Kris to Explore Her Inner World
[16:07] What is It Like to Go Through Recovery With Christ?
[21:51] How Addictions Sneak Up On Us
[27:34] Don’t Stop Praying For Yourself or Your Loved Ones
[31:14] “A Day Without Laughter is a Day Wasted”
[35:28] Alicia’s Reflections: We Need to Trust That God is In Control

[00:39] “Good Things Are Coming, Even When We Can't See It Yet”

“Have you been praying, and you still have no answers? Have you been pouring out your heart for so many years? Have you been hoping that things would have been changed by now? Have you cried all the faith you have through so many tears? He is moving with a love so deep, hallelujah for the victory. Good things are coming, even when we can't see we can't see it yet. But we believe that maybe we just haven't seen it. We just haven't seen it yet.”

This very well-known song by Danny Gokey called “Haven't Seen it Yet” came up on the radio a few days before this interview. If we were standing in a stadium filled with tens of thousands of people, I can guarantee every single person would raise their hand and say they have either been in a season of waiting on God or are currently in one. We all live in this tension of the now and the not yet, of trusting God to move.

Whether it is in someone we love, a job situation, a child we are raising, or something deep within ourselves. And in those challenging times, when the transformation we are praying for has not happened yet, we have to find a way to keep the faith and believe that God is still working.

Today, my sister Kris is joining us to share her incredible story. She is my only sister, and although we grew up not liking each other and found ourselves at odds a lot of the time, we have only grown closer.

After I became a Christian at 19, I began praying for her. I prayed for her to know Jesus, for healing in her life, and for our relationship to be restored. I saw her making choices that felt self-destructive, and I wanted her to experience the freedom I had found in Christ. I prayed not just for her salvation, but for her entire family to come to know Jesus. I deeply desired that renewed sisterhood, that true companionship, rooted in faith and love

About two weeks ago, my sister and I were talking about this interview I had with Ian Cron about the 12 Steps (episode 306: On Addiction, the Enneagram and a Healthy Fix for Our Inner Brokenness with Ian Morgan Cron) and she said to me “I have my story and I am ready to tell it.” I realized how encouraging it would be to hear this absolute miracle that has happened in our family, and specifically in her life.

More than anything, my prayer is that you will walk away encouraged if you are in a situation of waiting on the Lord for him to bring change in a situation or in a loved one's life.

I spoke about Kris in my book Emotional Confidence a few different times, and I feel grateful to have her share her story today. She is one of the funniest people I have ever met, and although I was annoyed about that when we were younger, I now love it.

[06:32] My Sister's Experience with Addiction

Kris shared that she feels as if she has lived many different lifetimes in her 40-plus years. She started by using humor as a coping mechanism because she always felt like something was off. Then, when she was 13, she started to experiment with drugs and alcohol, and that flew into full-blown addiction at 16. She got a DUI, went to rehab, and found that she could stop the drugs, but alcohol was something persistent in her life.

She was able to get clean and sober when she was pregnant with her three children, but found that she ended up picking up alcohol after each one for some reason. In 2020, the pandemic was a huge trigger for her. Before this, she was bartending, which kept her sick, but once she lost her job, she found herself drinking every day..

After this, God put so many different things in her life, like moving out of California, building great friendships, and going to church. Kris shares that she first started going to church when she was still drinking. She never really knew what it was to have that relationship with God. She would go to church, check the boxes, and then be drunk by 4 pm. But seeing her daughter thrive at church and have a heart for Jesus really made a difference.

Kris shared that there was just so much in her life that was a mess in those final weeks before she got sober. Spiritually, mentally, and financially, she was a mess. She was trying to control everything, and ego played a huge part in it. She kept telling herself, “I can do this. I do not need help.” Because to her, asking for help meant weakness.

That belief ran deep. Kris had always felt like crying or showing emotions was a sign of weakness. So instead, she leaned into being funny. Humor became her shield. But underneath it all, she was falling apart. We know that many comedians use humor to cover up their struggles and addictions, and this was the same for Kris.

[10:55] How Our Conversations on a Road Trip Played Into Kris’s Recovery Journey

In the summer of 2022, Kris and I took a trip down the Oregon coast. It was not long after this that she told me she was struggling with alcohol and had gotten sober. We had many interesting conversations on this trip, and Kris shared that she was drinking, but not as much as she normally would on a day-to-day basis. This helped her to connect with me on a different level than she ever had before. Kris shared that she always had this guard up with everyone around her, but she could feel that she was ready for a change.

She remembers sitting by the ocean with me, and I was in tears. She asked me, “Why are you crying?” and I said, “I just feel the presence of God, and I am just not going to hold it back anymore.” Kris shared that she remembers thinking, “Wow, I wish I could feel that.”

After this trip, she went home and realized she wanted to make a few changes in her life. This took a couple of months because, as she shared, it takes time to do that in a meaningful way. These were big changes she was making, not just some of her habits. She had been battling some of these things for her entire life.

[14:02] How Our Evolving Relationship Inspired Kris to Explore Her Inner World

Right before our trip, our relationship was changing and evolving. Kris shared that she started to feel a closeness with me that she had never felt before. She was holding onto anger and resentment, and she was finally able to let some of this go.

When we experience tension in relationships, it is so easy to just point fingers and say, “They are like this,” or “We are just too different.” But what I started to realize is that sometimes the distance is rooted in more than just personality differences. There is often anger, resentment, or misunderstanding on both sides.

During that season, God started revealing my part in the tension. I began to pray for Kris differently, from a place of love and hope. As I did that, I noticed that things started to shift. Walls were coming down, we started laughing together, and we could be real with each other. That was such a huge part of the journey. But at the center of the change was Christ. He was the one who softened our hearts and brought that healing.

[16:07] What is It Like to Go Through Recovery With Christ?

Kris shared that going through recovery with Christ at the center included full surrender. As she reflects on the last night she drank, almost three years ago, she remembers getting to the point of almost passing out as she had many times before. At this point, she realized that it was not fun anymore, and even her husband started asking her, “Are you okay?” She was hiding her addiction from everyone by hiding bottles in the trash cans, but it was getting to the point where she could not be present.

Her addiction started to become a functioning thing, Kris shared. She had to drink to get up in the morning and at baseball games just to stay level throughout the day, and then she could come home and drink freely. She was missing out on so much, and that last day, she realized she did not want to live like this anymore. It was a Saturday night, she woke up on Sunday, and slept in instead of going to church. Her husband came in and asked her, “Do you want to go to a meeting?” and when he said that, something clicked and she realized she wanted help and that she had a problem.

It was not easy to admit this, and she did not go to a meeting right away. Kris shared that she was sober for five days and so much emotion started to come up as she was feeling nauseous, sweaty, and very sick. At this point, she got on her knees and said to God, “I'm done. I'm surrendering to You. I give You everything. I will do whatever You need me to do. I need You in my life.” After that prayer, it felt like a warm hug, and she felt like she could get through this.

Later that week, Kris went to church, and she was a mess the entire time – crying, emotional, and overwhelmed by everything she had been carrying. At the end of the service, as the pastor invited anyone who wanted to give their life to Christ to pray, she sat there and quietly prayed, “Jesus, I need You. I need You to come into my life and be my Lord and Savior.”

With tears streaming down her face, she gave it all up. From that moment on, she started attending meetings, getting a sponsor, working the 12 steps, and most importantly, leaning on God and building a relationship with Him. Kris says she still feels new in her faith, but she knows He is walking with her every step of the way.

Kris and I did not grow up going to church, and I remember that stage for me, too. It feels like a new beginning where you are starting fresh.

[21:51] How Addictions Sneak Up On Us

As I mentioned earlier, in my last interview with Ian Cron (episode 306: On Addiction, the Enneagram and a Healthy Fix for Our Inner Brokenness with Ian Morgan Cron), we talked about the 12 steps and how all of us have a form of addiction. Ian shared that in addiction, there is often a stage where it feels manageable, like it is just a private coping mechanism that is not hurting anyone. You tell yourself it is no big deal, whether it is drinking or something else. But slowly, like the tide creeping in, it starts taking over more and more of your life. Before you even realize it, it is no longer something you control, it is controlling you.

Kris shared that this was applicable to her, too. At first, it was just a few beers, and before she knew it, it was something she couldn’t live without. She thought since she was functioning, still going to work, and taking care of her kids, that it was okay. But she shared that she was not present and not who she wanted to be.

Kris and I would always have the term “special drinks” when we were spending time together, which meant alcohol. I remember on that Oregon trip we took, every night we had to stop and get special drinks. On the last night of that trip, Kris said to me, “We need to stop and get my special drinks.” There was a sadness about it, and I started to realize that the “special drink” was taking control of her. I was not judging her, but just noticing how this was more than just a fun time every once and a while.

At the time, drinking had become a need, Kris shared. On that road trip, she remembers thinking, I’m not going to drink, but still packing a few little bottles in her suitcase. She recently pulled that suitcase out for her daughter to use, and she found a few small tequila bottles still tucked inside. It was a reminder of just how deep things had gotten. What started as “a couple shots and six beers” at night slowly escalated. It then became taking four shots and drinking a 12-pack, and then a full bottle. It became a sneaky pattern and something she had to hide.

[27:34] Don’t Stop Praying For Yourself or Your Loved Ones

As Kris reflects on the person she was back then, she would tell her to keep hanging on, not give up, and not listen to the enemy. She would also let her know that she is worthy of God’s love, even though she did not feel like it. She would tell that woman to stay in faith and trust in His timing. As she thinks back, she sometimes wishes she had made the change years prior, but none of this would have happened without His timing.

We have all had situations where we feel hopeless or sad and have asked God for help so many times. We have all prayed for someone to change and have felt hopeless. Kris reminds us to never stop praying. The power of prayer is so huge and meaningful. Especially these days, when we want everything to happen right now and want to see immediate results. We rarely get that, so we need to never stop praying, surrender to God, and trust that this is out of our control and in His.

Our job is to show up, keep praying, keep believing, and watch our minds. It is easy to go into despair, depression, and frustration, but we have to feel, see those things, and then, with God’s help, release them. Saying to God, “I am doing my part. I am trusting You, I know You are faithful and trustworthy. That is where I am going to live and keep my emotions.”

[31:14] “A Day Without Laughter is a Day Wasted”

Kris wanted me to ask her a few fun questions during the interview – her name, why she is so funny, and why we are sisters. She joked that one of her biggest fears when she stopped drinking was that she would not be funny anymore, but thankfully, that has not changed. She still brings joy and laughter, and reminds us that “a day without laughter is a day wasted.”

I am so incredibly grateful for the relationship God has restored between us. Today, Kris is not just my sister but my best friend. That is something I never would have imagined saying five years ago. Watching her transformation and the healing in our bond has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.

I’ll never forget being in the backyard when Kris said she wanted to talk. At first, I braced myself, but then she shared something that completely floored me – an apology, without strings or expectations. It was part of her 12-step journey, but it meant the world to me. I did not need it to feel at peace, but hearing her acknowledge the past with such humility was powerful. It spoke volumes about what God had been doing in her life, and I was so proud of her.

[35:28] Alicia’s Reflections: We Need to Trust That God is In Control

I hope that this conversation was a blessing and made you laugh. I want you to consider a few things as you think about her story:

First, God was present even when things seemed hopeless on the outside. God was working behind the scenes on His timing. She was not fully ready to let go of alcohol and change her life until she hit the point of where the addiction took over. God had to allow her to get to this place, and He was present even when it looked like nothing was changing.

Second, there was a battle going on for her, which reminds us to have empathy for our loved ones when they are in the midst of the battle. It is easy for us to think, “Why can't they just get it? Why can't they just change? What is so confusing about this?” Of course, we can see it from our perspective, but a lot is happening within them. We need to have some empathy and space for people to have their transformation. This starts with having trust that God is in control. He has not forgotten them. His promises are true when He says, “Come to Me, give Me your burdens, I am going to go into action.”

The third thing is that God does not always resolve every situation with a neat bow. Sometimes, we do not get to understand the why. As Kris shared, it is not like everything in her life became suddenly perfect, even after 3 years of sobriety. We still have things in our family that we are trusting God with, but that is the walk of faith. Our role is to keep trusting, keep knocking, and keep asking. God’s job is to move in His timing and His way. We can rest in that truth, even when things feel unfinished. So we wait, we hope, and we look for the miracle, keeping our hearts and minds anchored in faith.

Lastly, God will surprise and shock you. I remember that phone call I got at the end of October in 2022, where Kris said, “I need to tell you that I am an alcoholic and I have started going to AA.” I remember thinking, “Wait, what?” We had just gone on that trip a few months earlier, and I had started noticing the weight of the addiction on her. I had seen her drink before, but this time, I saw the sadness in her eyes when she said she needed to stop and get her “special drinks.” It was different. And yet, I was still stunned. After all the years of praying and trusting, God showed how He’d been at work the entire time.

It was a moment of awe for me. I had prayed for so long, and here was the answer unfolding in real life. It was a reminder of just how faithful and good God truly is. One of the greatest joys in my life now is getting to visit Kris, go to church with her, stand beside her in worship, and raise our hands together to praise Jesus. The day I got to watch her be baptized was one of the most beautiful experiences I had ever had. God is in the business of redemption, and I am forever grateful that I get to witness that miracle up close through my sister’s story.

I hope that if you are in that in-between season, waiting, wondering, maybe even feeling weary, this episode reminds you that God is at work. Even when we do not see it yet. Staying faithful, consistent, and prayerful is how we keep moving forward. Pay attention to your mindset because discouragement and despair may creep in. Be honest about the frustration and pain, but do not let it take root. Ask God to help you release it so you can remain anchored in hope.

I would love to hear from you. What are you trusting God for right now? In what ways are you still waiting for God to show up in your loved one’s life? I would be honored to pray for you or a loved one. Send me a DM on Instagram or Facebook, or drop a comment on any of our posts. I read every message, and I’d love to walk alongside you in this season.

RESOURCES:

Tired of up-and-down feelings stealing your peace, sabotaging your relationships, and filling your mind with self-defeating thoughts? If so, make sure to get my new book, “Emotional Confidence: 3 Simple Steps to Manage Emotions with Science and Scripture”.

RELATED EPISODES:

306: On Addiction, the Enneagram and a Healthy Fix for Our Inner Brokenness with Ian Morgan Cron