332: You Don’t Have to “Hold It All Together” (Lovingly Releasing Yourself when Overwhelm Takes Over)
Overflowing schedules, extra demands, emotions that feel out of control: sound like your life lately? When life intensifies, we’re tempted to believe the lie that we’re the ones “holding it all together”… which causes us to work harder to find our own peace and to get answers.
How can we release ourselves from needing to be in control? And how can we respond differently to life’s overwhelm and honestly discover God’s promised rest for our souls in every season?
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
[00:00] Why Do We Feel Pressure to Hold It All Together?
[04:00] How Perfectionism and Control Feed Overwhelm
[07:00] What Colossians 1:17 Teaches About Who Holds Everything Together
[10:00] Why “A + B = C” Thinking Doesn’t Work in God’s Economy
[14:00] Two Lies That Keep Us Carrying Too Much Pressure
[16:00] What True Strength and Peace Really Look Like
[18:00] The Anchor Analogy: Finding Steadiness When Life Shifts
[19:00] How to Use the A.D.D. Method (Acknowledge, Discern, Decide) to Release Pressure
[23:00] What Letting Go Looks Like in Real Life
[00:00] Why Do We Feel Pressure to Hold It All Together?
There’s a certain heaviness that comes with believing that everything depends on us—keeping the family running, managing work, maintaining emotional balance, and caring for everyone around us. The pressure to “hold it all together” creates constant low-level tension, as if the world might fall apart if we stop managing it. We all feel this way from time to time.
That pressure doesn’t come from God. It’s born from fear—the fear that if we stop holding things together, everything will collapse. But what if that responsibility was never ours to begin with? What if the peace we crave comes not from keeping control, but from releasing it?
Today let’s talk about where this pressure comes from and what to do about it.
[04:00] How Perfectionism and Control Feed Overwhelm
Overwhelm often stems from perfectionism and the belief that control keeps us safe. When we equate success or stability with how well we manage everything, we place ourselves in a role that only God was meant to fill.
Perfectionism whispers, “If I can do enough, I’ll finally feel at peace.” But instead of peace, it leads to exhaustion. We live braced for failure, convinced that rest will cause things to unravel.
True peace isn’t found in our ability to do more—it’s found in remembering that God already holds what feels impossible to manage.
[07:00] What Colossians 1:17 Teaches About Who Holds Everything Together
Colossians 1:17 reminds us, “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”
This verse changes everything. It shifts the responsibility from our shoulders to God’s. The idea that we must be the glue holding family, faith, and life together is a distortion of truth. Christ already sustains all things by His power and presence.
When we believe this, peace begins to replace panic. Our role is not to keep the universe spinning, but to trust the One who does.
Peace doesn’t come from holding everything together—it comes from trusting the One who already does.
It’s one thing to know this logically and another to live from this truth. What might need to shift inside you in order to let your heart live in this place?
[10:00] Why “A + B = C” Thinking Doesn’t Work in God’s Economy
Human logic loves formulas: if we do A and B, then C should follow. But spiritual growth rarely works that way. When A + B doesn’t lead to C—when we obey God and still face disappointment—it’s easy to assume something’s wrong.
But God’s ways are not linear. He uses delays, detours, and even disruptions to refine our hearts. The peace of surrender comes when we stop trying to make life “add up” and start trusting that His plans, even when unpredictable, are always purposeful.
We can choose to let this stress us out (why aren’t things working out this way)? Or we can let this be our cue that it’s time to surrender to God’s ways and to lean on His understanding instead of our own (Proverbs 3:5-6).
[14:00] The Lies That Keep Us Carrying Pressure
Two lies often keep us holding too much:
- If I don’t hold it all together, everything will fall apart.
- Peace comes from control.
These lies sound responsible—but underneath them is fear. They lead us to believe that strength means pushing harder, when real strength is found in resting in God’s sufficiency.
Control may feel like safety, but it’s actually a burden that keeps us from the freedom Jesus offers.
[16:00] What True Strength and Peace Really Look Like
True peace doesn’t come from life being calm—it comes from being anchored when life is not. Strength isn’t about keeping it all together; it’s about trusting the One who does.
When everything feels like too much, peace doesn’t mean you stop feeling—it means you stop carrying what isn’t yours. The moment we surrender control, we step into God’s rest, where our identity is no longer tied to how well we perform or manage.
[18:00] The Anchor Analogy: Finding Steadiness When Life Shifts
An anchor doesn’t stop a storm—it keeps you from drifting during one.
The pressure to control everything is like trying to calm the waves by force. But peace comes from being securely anchored in God’s presence even when the winds of life are strong. When the mind is racing, when emotions are high, anchoring in God’s truth steadies the heart.
You can let go without falling apart—because He holds you steady beneath the surface.
[19:00] How to Use the A.D.D. Method (Acknowledge, Discern, Decide) to Release Pressure
When emotions of overwhelm rise, the A.D.D. method is a simple framework to release pressure and recenter in truth:
- Acknowledge what you’re feeling without judgment—name it honestly before God.
- Discern what’s underneath the emotion—fear, guilt, pride, or misplaced responsibility.
- Decide what’s yours to carry and what you need to release into God’s hands.
This is where emotional and spiritual healing meet—honoring what you feel while trusting God with what you can’t control.
During November and December, the Emotional Confidence Club is diving into this exact theme: Finding Peace in the Midst of Overwhelm. It’s a space for women to explore how science and Scripture work together to calm the nervous system, renew thinking patterns, and learn practical steps for surrender in everyday life.
[23:00] What Letting Go Looks Like in Real Life
Letting go doesn’t mean abandoning responsibilities—it means shifting where the weight rests.
It looks like breathing before reacting, praying before fixing, and choosing trust instead of panic. It’s saying, “I don’t have to hold this together, because God already does.”
When you stop clinging to control, you create room for God’s peace to fill the space where fear once lived. That’s where real transformation begins.
RESOURCES:
CHAT WITH ALICIA: Got a question about how to manage emotions in your specific situation? Apply here.
EMOTIONAL CONFIDENCE CLUB: Discover practical ways to manage emotions from a science and scriptural perspective in our live 6-week studies with Alicia. Apply here.
RELATED EPISODES:
Ep 326: A People Pleaser’s Guide to Setting Boundaries (When You’re Afraid to Offend Others)
Ep 330: How to Manage Big Out-of-Control Emotions
Ep 313: Is Disappointment the Real Reason Why You're Overwhelmed, Tired + Irritated?
