330: How to Manage Big, Out of Control Emotions
Does it ever feel like your big emotions take over your life? In this episode, discover why emotions themselves are not sinful, and learn practical steps to calm your body and mind so you can process what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Let’s talk about how to identify triggers, invite God into your emotional life, and use simple tools to move from reaction to Spirit-led response—even in moments of overwhelming stress.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
[00:00] Why Are Big Emotions So Hard to Control?
[06:00] God’s Design for Emotions: Evidence from the Trinity
[09:00] How Jesus and the Holy Spirit Show God’s Emotional Nature
[12:00] What Everyday Situations Trigger Out-of-Control Feelings?
[14:00] Lies We Believe About Emotional “Equilibrium”
[17:00] How Overwhelm Reveals Deeper Roots Beneath the Surface
[20:00] Why Emotions Are Signals, Not Failures
[24:00] Practical First Step: Pause and Name What You Feel
[27:00] How to Find Calm by Switching Into the Parasympathetic State
[30:00] Choosing to Address the Foundation Instead of Plastering Cracks
[00:00] Why Are Big Emotions So Hard to Control?
Strong feelings often show up suddenly—anger in a tense conversation, anxiety before a deadline, sadness that won’t lift.
These reactions can feel overpowering, but they’re not random. They are the body’s built-in alarm system signaling that something deeper needs attention.
Emotions become overwhelming when they’re ignored, stuffed down, or misunderstood.
[06:00] God’s Design for Emotions: Evidence from the Trinity
Scripture shows that emotions are part of God’s own nature.
God the Father expresses joy, sorrow, anger, and compassion throughout the Old Testament.
Jesus wept over Lazarus (John 11:35) and overturned tables in righteous anger (Matthew 21:12–13).
The Holy Spirit grieves when we sin (Ephesians 4:30) and brings peace when we surrender (Philippians 4:7).
Emotions are not accidents of biology—they are reflections of God’s image in us.
[09:00] How Jesus and the Holy Spirit Show God’s Emotional Nature
Jesus demonstrates that emotions can be expressed without sin.
He felt deep love for His friends, lamented over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41), and prayed with such intensity in Gethsemane that His sweat was like drops of blood (Luke 22:44).
The Holy Spirit offers comfort and peace, proving that emotional presence is part of divine relationship. Seeing these examples frees us from shame when strong feelings rise. We are made in the image of God, and that include the ability to respond to the world through emotions.
[12:00] What Everyday Situations Trigger Out-of-Control Feelings?
Common triggers include family conflict, work stress, sudden disappointments, or the daily demands of multitasking that push the nervous system beyond capacity.
These moments don’t create emotions; they expose what’s already stirring inside the heart and body. This is why it’s important to regularly notice what we’re feeling and learn how to process our emotions.
[14:00] Lies We Believe About Emotional “Equilibrium”
One lie is that a mature Christian should always stay calm.
Another is that equilibrium means never feeling sad, angry, or afraid.
These beliefs cause guilt and lead to suppression instead of healthy processing.
True stability comes from grounding in God’s presence, not from perfect emotional control.
2 Corinthians 10:5 reminds us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” not to deny feelings but to align them with God’s truth.
[17:00] How Overwhelm Reveals Deeper Roots Beneath the Surface
When emotions feel out of control, they’re usually pointing to deeper wounds—old fears, unresolved grief, unmet needs.
Ignoring them is like painting over cracks in a foundation.
The feelings are symptoms; the root issues need God’s healing touch.
Psalm 34:18 offers comfort:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
[20:00] Why Emotions Are Signals, Not Failures
Big feelings are invitations to pause and listen. They alert us to needs for rest, connection, forgiveness, or boundaries. Instead of condemning the emotion, treat it as a messenger that helps you partner with God for transformation.
[24:00] Practical First Step: Pause and Name What You Feel
The first step toward regulation is simple but powerful: pause and name the emotion.
Labeling what’s happening—“I feel anxious,” “I feel angry,” “I feel sad”—calms the amygdala (the brain’s threat center) and begins to shift the body out of fight-or-flight. Naming feelings invites awareness and opens the door for prayerful reflection.
[27:00] How to Find Calm by Switching Into the Parasympathetic State
Big emotions keep the body in a sympathetic, high-alert mode. To return to calm, activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” state).
Simple practices like slow, deep breathing, grounding through the senses, or gentle movement signal safety to the brain and reduce physical stress responses.
Philippians 4:6–7 gives a spiritual grounding for this process:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
For those who want to practice these tools in a supportive community, the Emotional Confidence Club will focus on Overwhelm throughout November and December. This upcoming topic explores practical ways to recognize triggers, settle the nervous system, and create daily rhythms that prevent stress from taking over—directly applying the strategies shared in this episode. Go here to learn more and to apply (spaces are limited)!
[30:00] Choosing to Address the Foundation Instead of Plastering Cracks
Surface fixes—like distraction or temporary self-soothing—offer short-term relief but don’t heal the root.
Long-term change comes from identifying core wounds, renewing thought patterns with Scripture, and inviting God into the healing process. Emotions become manageable when the foundation of mind and spirit is strong.
RESOURCES:
Want practical help learning to manage your emotions better? Join us in Alicia’s Emotional Confidence Club!
We’re a Christ-centered community of women learning to process everyday emotions—like disappointment, overwhelm, and shame—using a science-and-Scripture-based roadmap that makes emotional healing practical, powerful, and personal.
Every 6 weeks we welcome new members and focus on a new topic (and November and December is on “Finding Peace in the Midst of Overwhelm”)!
Apply now to join us at AliciaMichelle.com/club.
RELATED EPISODES:
Ep 312: What to Do When You Can’t Stop Crying, Snapping, or Shutting Down
Ep 304: Take Control of Your Feelings: “Get Off the Mat” + “What Thoughts Will You Let Land?”
Ep 292: Analyzing Your Emotions: “What Am I Feeling and Why?”
