What the Bible Says About How to Process Emotions

1) Our God knows our thoughts and emotions (Psalm 139:2)

Psalm 139:2, You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.

It can be intimidating to think that God knows us so deeply, but we don’t have to be afraid of the fact that God knows our thoughts and feelings. He doesn’t just see our outside actions. He also knows what is going on inside of us, and He loves us so fully.  We serve a God who loves us and wants to help us–even to help us process our hardest feelings.

NOTE: If this concept is scary, you are not alone. Many Christians have been hurt by the Church or even have built walls up between themselves and God. Often women come to my coaching practice and don't understand why they can't trust God or why they have difficulty believing truths like “God loves me” (even though they've heard that message over and over).

The reality is that we are all driven by subconscious thought patterns (I like to think of them as “soundtracks”) that are shaped by our past circumstances. When it comes to these issues of trusting God, the thought patterns we've developed around identity (love, worth and feeling enough) are especially relevant. Again, the issue isn't what you may believe logically; it's what these subconscious patterns have developed to be.

Because subconscious thought patterns will trump our logical patterns (especially when we're in a highly emotional state), these are the sort of underlying thought patterns we must address if we want to honestly grow in our ability to manage our emotions well. If you can relate to this “knowing” but not “feeling” the ability to believe God's promises (or having downright trust issues with God), I strongly encourage you to consider joining me in my Christian Mindset Makeover program.

2) Our problem is that our thoughts are not like God’s thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8)

Isaiah 55:8:“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.  “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

This Bible verse on managing emotions tells us that our thoughts are not like God’s thoughts. We are made in the image of God, but we are sinful and self-centered, and we don’t always have the same perfect intention that God does. If our intentions are left to us, we are going to repeat those intentions without outside intervention from the Holy Spirit.

Brain science tells us that whatever we focus on is strengthened in our minds. Neuroscience tells us that our thoughts and emotions combine to create a belief, and that belief creates a decision. That decision creates an action, and that action creates a result. Therefore, if we continue to think about things that are sinful and self-centered, our minds will not adopt a different perspective. Because God’s thoughts are different than ours, however, we can adapt his perspective and bring his thoughts in through the Holy Spirit.  

Maybe you're thinking, “How do we know what God’s thoughts are? How do we know that they are good? How do we know they are beyond anything we could imagine? Can we trust God in this area?”

Let’s think through this logically, using what we know about God in the Bible. We see the result of God being a God of compassion, love, and kindness all throughout the Bible. We know that, if those are his actions, His thoughts must be in line with that. Because of His heart of love and compassion, God has a pure plan for us in helping us process our emotions and in giving us new holy thoughts. We can trust Him in this area of processing our feelings!

3) Our call is to renew our mind and control our emotions as part of our ongoing sanctification. (Romans 12:1-2)

Romans 12:1-2:And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you.  Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

The call to manage our emotions is part of our ongoing spiritual growth, or to use a fancy Bible term, our sanctification in Christ.  It says in this verse that God wants to transform us into a new person by changing the way we think.  We are called to this admonition to be changed, to not stay the same, to give our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice so that we can do His will on this world and we can know what His will is.

This verse confirms that when we want our actions to change or to have a different result in our lives, we must start with changing our thoughts and managing our emotions in a Christ-honoring way. As we shared previously this concept is also supported by brain science since neuroscience proves that our actions begin in our thoughts. Our thoughts create our emotions. Therefore, any transformation starts with a thought change.

4)We need to be aware of our battle for our thoughts, and fight for the truth while still honoring emotions. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

2 Corinthians 10:3-5: We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

 There is a battle for our thoughts every day, every moment, and we need to be aware of how our emotions influence that battle. In this verse, we learn that we need to use God’s mighty weapons to right – not just our own reasoning and arguments. We need to break down anything that is against the truth of God.

This is powerful, and confirmed in brain science, because we know that as humans we have a mind that is separate from the brain. Our brain and our mind are different – our mind can stand outside of our brain and decide what to think about.

So we have this choice before us, and there is this battle going on that we need to be aware of so we can fight for the truth. We are in control of these thoughts, but first we have to recognize the battle itself. We must learn to be aware of our thoughts and emotions.

5) Our choice is “will our mind be dominated by the sinful nature or by the Spirit?” (Romans 8:5-6)

Romans 8:5-6, Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

Will our mind be dominated by the sinful nature or by the spiritual nature? We have learned, again, that our thoughts are not the same as God’s. We need to change those thoughts because of this battle going on. We have this call to renew our mind as part of our ongoing sanctification, and so we have this choice in the moment: will our mind be dominated by the sinful nature or by the spirit? Are we going to gratify the flesh or gratify and listen to the Holy Spirit?  

We see brain science active here as well in two different ways. What we think about affects our actions, like we learned in Romans 12:1.  What we focus on creates results, and what we focus on in our mind grows and changes. So, if we decide to focus on Thought A, and that’s all we ever think about, Thought A is going to continually strengthen. If we decide, however, to think about Thought B, and over time we choose Thought B over Thought A, then Thought A will eventually begin to be pruned out and Thought B will be strengthened. We are in control and we get to decide.  What we focus on grows.

6) Our mindset is something we notice continually so we can ask God to help us notice our thoughts and feelings. (Psalm 139:23)

Psalm 139:23, Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

In order to manage our emotions from a biblical perspective, we must remain continually aware of our feelings and to ask God to help us see what thoughts are inside of us. This powerful posture of awareness strongly correlates to managing our thoughts, because in order to be in control of our thoughts we need to be aware of what we’re thinking and why we’re thinking it.

In this verse, David is telling God to search him, and to show him what is not supposed to be there. He wants God to test him and to let him know his anxious thoughts in order to help him grow. It’s so helpful in managing our thoughts when we can have that awareness to let God show us what needs to be revealed, lovingly teased out or grown out of us, and healed in us. Although this noticing takes practice, this is the mindset that we need to adopt, and God is faithful to help us practice it!

7) Our game plan is to notice our emotions, prayerfully release difficult feelings to God as we consider His truth, and let Him help us find a new place to emotionally dwell. (Philippians 4:6-8)

Philippians 4:6-8, Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

This verse is our game plan on how to manage negative thoughts and cultivate a positive attitude. There is a step-by-step process outlined in this verse that we can be so grateful for because it is very clear about what we are supposed to do.

Philippians 4:6-8 contains a few powerful principles on managing emotions here.

First. We are not supposed to focus on our worries, but rather we are supposed to pray about them – meaning to release them to God, thanking Him for what He is going to do, and not hold onto them anymore. That is when God’s peace comes in.

Second, we can also choose to bring in and actively pursue what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, which means we’re switching our focus from the things that worry us to the promises of heaven. It doesn’t mean that we ignore the things that are making us sad. It just means we need to decide where we are going to dwell. We are going to acknowledge the worries and fears that we have, but we are going to let the peace of knowing God’s good promises rule our minds.

This concept of being able to decide what to focus on and to change our thought patterns also lines up with brain science. Everyday our brains are being reshaped by the thoughts we think. The fancy neuroscience term for this is neuroplasticity. Every thought we have reshapes our brain. Isn’t that amazing? 

To me, this neural reshaping is the ultimate act of God’s hope in humanity.  Every day, we have the opportunity to choose Him!  Every second, we have an opportunity to focus on something of God versus something of this world. It is a choice that we have, every single day, to create the brain, the mindset, and the light that we want. Every moment is a chance to start over and to think differently! This is God’s redemption. It is God’s grace in every single thought we have.

Isn’t that powerful to think about? So yes, we have the opportunity to take down soundtracks that aren’t helpful and build up the ones that are. We have the power to control our thoughts and to focus on godliness.

8) Our perspective changes and we rediscover peace when we choose to manage our feelings biblically and refocus our minds on God's truth. (Isaiah 26:3)

Isaiah 26:3:You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

When we think about our God, our thoughts result in the fruit of peace.  When we shift our thoughts to the plumb line of God’s truth, we find that we live in peace. Lots of other things come as well, such as confidence, joy, and a new perspective on difficult circumstances. At the very base of all of that is what we are talking about here in this verse: perfect peace that isn’t affected by our circumstances. It is a peace that is centered on God’s truth.  

That is why we talked about Philippians 4:6-8 before we shared this verse. The perfect peace mentioned here is a direct result of what we choose to focus on. We are choosing to shift our thoughts to that plumb line of what is true, right, holy, and admirable, and that gives us the ability to abide in peace.

9) Our opportunity is to daily choose to welcome ongoing emotional growth as part of our relationship with God. (Romans 7:21-23)

Romans 7:21-23, I have discovered this principle of life – that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.  I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.

This battle for our mind is an ongoing battle. God has won the war. He has forgiven us, he understands us, and he loves us. If we believe in Him and trust Him as our savior, we are going to Heaven. That battle is done, right? That war is finished.

Yet, every day we have the choice – just like we learned in those previous verses – about what we are going to focus on in order to create the mindset that will keep us resilient and steadfast until the end. We have this ongoing mindset growth and thought renewal that is happening.  

Emotional confidence is not a “state to arrive at” where we will eliminate confusing feelings and sinful thoughts and everything will be perfect. In this verse, Paul is saying that when he does what he thinks is right, sometimes he does what is wrong. He doesn’t understand the principle in him, but there is really that battle of the sin nature trying to understand and take control over what the spirit is trying to do.

Emotional confidence is knowing that you have the right tools to manage your feelings with God's help, even though emotions change and can even be deceitful at times.

We don’t have to be afraid of the ongoing struggle to manage our emotions. We need to:

• learn specific emotional management tools that are based on science and scripture (my book is a great start!).
• learn about ourselves, and how our past and our traumas play into where we are and what is happening around us.
• know how we are made, genetically, to respond to things or to think about things. 
• take responsibility for those things that we can control that strengthen our ability to be emotionally well, such a lifestyle choices

We know everyday emotional struggles are all opportunities for ongoing mindset growth and thought renewal. That is a freedom that we can have: we don’t have to expect and put ourselves in that place of feeling like we have to arrive. We don’t. It is an ongoing process that is led by our loving God, and that healing that comes is directed by God.

10) Our perspective in managing hard times and dealing with up and down emotions is up to us. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

God has tasked us with managing our minds and we can decide how we will approach this task.

Paul admonishes us in this verse to stay vigilant. He encourages us to run with the perspective that we are going to run this race to win. He shares that there is a great reason for us to manage our emotions beyond ‘it feels good’ or ‘it helps me with this’. 

Choosing to vigilantly manage our minds and process our emotions creates in us a spirit where God to work in a powerful way that He never could. Why? Because now we’re allowing our thoughts and emotions to be in alignment with His.

We’re allowing our minds to be ruled by the Spirit, and that creates this dramatic change in how you minister to the world! We have salvation, but this is the prize we can continue to seek as we live.  

P.S. If you'd like more encouragement about how to manage our emotions during hard times, check out these posts:

• 4 Short Stories About Trusting God in Hard Times
• 28 Bible Verses for Trusting God in Hard Times
• 3 Secrets to Trusting God During Difficult Times

Summary of What the Bible Says About Processing Our Emotions

We've covered a lot here! So what's next? Here are a few principles I want you to consider:

First, it's incredibly important to God that we learn how to manage our emotions! These 10 principles with Bible verses on managing emotions are a great starting point. These 10 verses are a reference point so we can see where we’re at, what God wants to do in us, and how we can do it.  

Second, if you're ready to learn a practical, 3-step method for managing emotions in the moment (based on the Bible and science), then I recommend getting a copy of my book Emotional Confidence: 3 Simple Steps to Manage Emotions with Science and Scripture. This book is full of real-world examples on how to manage emotions (including 6 chapters that address how to manage specific emotions like anger, disappointment, loneliness, worry, shame and discontentment). Emotional Confidence will be available Nov 12, 2024, so you can pre-order your copy now on Amazon, or even join us on the book launch team!

Third, if this process of learning about thoughts from a Biblical perspective and a brain science perspective is really encouraging and exciting and you're ready to work one-on-one with me in this area, I encourage you to check out the Christian Mindset Makeover. The Christian Mindset Makeover gives you a step-by-step framework for putting these scriptures into practice. Learn more here about this powerful course designed to help you create your specific plan in place to overcome negative thoughts and renew your mind using biblical truth and brain science.