Struggling to keep your commitments and stick to your goals? If you feel like something is in the way of you fulfilling your self-commitments, join me as I share action steps that you can take for goal setting and building the gift of commitment!
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266: You Are Worth The Commitment To Yourself

Last Updated on July 19, 2024 by Alicia Michelle

Struggling to keep your commitments and stick to your goals? If you feel like something is in the way of you fulfilling your self-commitments, join me as I share action steps that you can take for goal setting and building the gift of commitment!

If you want to build mindsets that help you stay committed, make sure to download my new free training “10 Habits and Mindsets to Cultivate Extraordinary Joy.”

Struggling to keep your commitments and stick to your goals? If you feel like something is in the way of you fulfilling your self-commitments, join me as I share action steps that you can take for goal setting and building the gift of commitment!

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

  • [01:30] Why is it Important to Make Small Commitments to Ourselves?
  • [09:12] Breaking a Self-Commitment Steals Our Ability to Be Strong and Confident
  • [15:05] We Can Push Through Hard Things
  • [18:14] “You're Capable of a Lot More Than You Think You Are”
  • [22:35] Our Brains Will Adapt to New Patterns – We Just Have to Stay Committed to Them
  • [25:45] Have You Lost Faith In Yourself and Your Ability to Keep Your Commitments?
  • [29:02] Are You Suffering in a Commitment You Are Trying to Make?
  • [31:48] The Greatest Gift of Commitment and Consistency is The Person We Become

[01:30] Why is it Important to Make Small Commitments to Ourselves? 

When we make small commitments to ourselves, it gives us resilience to work through other obstacles that come our way. At the time of recording, it was Day 75 of the “75 Hard Challenge” that my husband and I had been on, so I want to tell you my story of what I’ve learned about keeping commitments to ourselves.

75 Hard is a challenge where you commit to different activities for 75 days. You read 10 pages of a nonfiction book every day, you drink a gallon of water, you work out twice a day (one of them being outside), you cannot have alcohol or sugar, and you take your picture. As part of this commitment, your body may improve in its appearance but the inward change is what is most important. 

In 75 Hard, you build mental toughness and I am very happy with how it turned out. This was the first time I had done it and it was my husband's fourth time. I was hoping to lose a bit of weight and that did not happen but my body felt better avoiding most inflammatory foods. The biggest gift that I walked away with was that I am stronger than my temptations. I knew that every day I would have to say yes to this commitment and taking it one day at a time was helpful for me. The habits we build when we are committed to something help to make things easier in the future. Once you figure out your rhythm and routines, you just do it. You do not make excuses and you keep showing up. With 75 Hard, you have to start over if you make an excuse and break the streak, so I was especially motivated.

Having a short-term commitment helped me see that I could live this way but also gave me confidence that I do not have to live this way forever. I can amp up my health and fitness in certain seasons and go into more manageable versions of this for the long term. Although I know I feel better and look better, it was very depressing to think about never having some of those foods again. To go into this commitment for the rest of my life would be daunting and unrealistic. 

When we make a commitment, we have to think about what is realistic and how we can keep this commitment to ourselves. For me, finishing 75 Hard was important to me. I avoided doing it in the past because I knew of some physical limitations that I had so instead I modified the commitment to something that I knew my body would not freak out about. My encouragement for you is when you build these commitments into your life, make sure that you have realistic expectations about how to keep it going and what is going to work for you.

[09:12] Breaking a Self-Commitment Steals Our Ability to Be Strong and Confident

99% of a commitment is in our minds. We may have a lot of obstacles that get in the way of it but these obstacles are often different from what we think they are. 

For example, if we are on a diet and trying to avoid sugar, we think the obstacle is eating the cookie. Our bodies might be physically craving sugar because the microbes in our gut are crying out for it but we have to be stronger than this. We have the power to make a change but if you have not been in a place where you have built that in your life, it is really hard to stand on that truth. We need to shift the habits we have been doing over and over again. This is the gift of commitment – we can break the temptation and do something different. 

At the beginning of a commitment, we may have to say no several times an hour – because we have not created the habit and mental resilience to say no. Our brains want to go back to our old patterns so the first few weeks of making a change are essential. The biggest issues that we face are internal and not something that can be seen from the outside. The internal mind struggles are usually the ones that are compromising within ourselves and God. As we build up more “funds” for our piggy bank of believing in ourselves, it is tempting to break the streak, deplete ourselves, and give into temptation. But if we do this, we are doing a disservice to ourselves. A break in the commitment to ourselves can be so damaging. 

I was recently listening to another podcaster who shared about how he had committed to posting on social media every day. There were some days when he did not want to show up and make this commitment because he was tired, overwhelmed, and so on, but he still did it. He said that if he did not do it, he was going to give $50 to a friend every day that he did not do it. He said when it came to this point, he did not care about the $50, he cared more about the broken commitment and promise to himself. This is what happens as we start to have this “bank” of commitment built. We are more committed to growth than we are helping ourselves to a treat. We do not want to break the commitment to ourselves and find ourselves in the same cycle again. 

Some of us may have broken commitments to ourselves many times because it is so much easier to just give in. It is easier to say “I knew I couldn’t do this” than it is to push through the difficult moments. This steals our ability to be strong and to build the mental toughness that we need to be confident in trying new things and moving forward. We can choose to stay committed to ourselves and choose to believe that we are worthy of a commitment. 

[15:05] We Can Push Through Hard Things

We are often way more committed to other people than we are ourselves. We have all done things for our kids or our jobs but this all comes from within and we need to have the resilience and commitment from ourselves. When I was walking through a difficult season of life, I struggled with getting up, showing up with a good attitude, and believing that we were going to get through it. During this time, God gave me this simple concept of commitment that helped me. He told me that I needed to find something every day where I could push myself beyond what I thought I could do so I could have a little victory.

In this season, my kids were little and I was emotionally drained almost every day. I needed to be able to push myself physically so I chose to start running to show myself I could do this. I am not a runner, I do not like running but what this taught me was that I could get up and do this every day. It was not about the physical changes of my body, it was about the commitments I made to myself. I showed myself that even when I wanted to give up and I was tired, I could push through. This also helped me with 75 Hard because there were times I wanted a cookie or a glass of wine but I reminded myself that I could push through hard things. 

A friend of mine was recently on a weight loss journey and she was saying how she had gone to the store hungry. She was asking herself: “Why did I do this?” but she ended up having a talk with herself where she was reminded that she would get through it. We sometimes have to have mental talks with ourselves. This is what running did for me in this season. It allowed me to remember, to notice, and to have a victory to show that I was committed to myself. I proved to myself every day that I could get through something that was hard and felt unmanageable. Commitment builds resilience in us, even if it seems unrelated. 

[18:14] “You're Capable of a Lot More Than You Think You Are”

I also want to remind you that you're capable of a lot more than you think you are. If we have started something and stopped something 1,000 times, we can really lose confidence in ourselves that we can keep this commitment. This is why it is important to make some small commitment even if it is just making your bed for 10-30 days so you can show yourself that you can do it. With any commitment, there are going to be challenging moments but when we can look back and think about a commitment we followed through on, it can help us to keep going.  

That is a gift that just keeps giving and it gives us confidence in ourselves and in what God can do in us. We want God to use us as a light in this world but if we are not able to push through and do these things, God cannot magically make us obey Him. We have to have that inner strength and the ability to push through the hard to work alongside the Holy Spirit. There is a very real and powerful gift that many of us are missing out on because we have broken commitments to ourselves. 

Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” If we are feeling uncomfortable with change, this is completely normal. But in the end, it produces this harvest of righteousness if we are working towards a godly change in character. We can push through these things with God’s help and once we do, there is peace that comes in our spirit. Then we have to have the courage to say “I am going to keep doing this.”

If you have ever seen a flywheel at a science museum, you know that it is really hard to push in the beginning but once it gets going, the momentum carries itself. That is the same thing with the changes, the habits, and the commitments that we make to ourselves. These changes to our minds and bodies are hard because we may be trying to break a pattern that we have had for five years. But we do have the ability to create a new pattern we just have to be committed. 

[22:35] Our Brains Will Adapt to New Patterns – We Just Have to Stay Committed to Them

Interestingly, 75 Hard is 75 days which had me thinking about brain priming and changing our subconscious patterns because that takes around 63-67 days. With brain priming, what we are doing is taking a pattern that has been established, and choosing and building a different thought process. 

We can see changing our thought patterns and creating new habits as building a bridge out to an island. We may have always taken this one bridge over but now we are building a second bridge. Once this second bridge is built, we can dismantle the first bridge. This is the power of neuroplasticity and brain priming. The brain will cooperate with us but we have to keep going. We have to strengthen those new patterns and this is where the power of commitment comes in. 

Galatians 6:9 says “Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” God understands how hard it is to make a change and be committed to showing up differently. If we can make a commitment to ourselves and we know that we can ask God for help, we will be victorious. We do not have to do this on our own, we can invite God to help us reap the harvest and not be weary in doing good. He is the one who can help us through those humps when we feel like we cannot make it through – this is how these gifts are built.

[25:45] Have You Lost Faith In Yourself and Your Ability to Keep Your Commitments?

If you have been struggling with making changes, keeping yourself focused on a goal, or moving towards whatever the change is in your life, you are not alone. I want you to ask yourself “Have I lost faith that I can actually follow through on these commitments?” If the answer is yes,  I encourage you to spend some time before God and ask Him for help with these questions:

– How have you lost faith?

– Why does it make sense that you have lost faith?

– What is the truth about how you can believe in yourself and start fresh?

Sometimes we have these situations that come up where God reveals something deeper that is going on. We can see this as an invitation into deeper healing and this may be the thing that is going to help you restore your faith in yourself. You can also ask yourself what are the things that you can add into your life to help you stay committed. This may be accountability, a reward, or even discipline. We have all heard of challenges where people say “I am going to give $1,000 to a charity I do not agree with if I do not finish this.” 

It may be as simple as having someone that you can text every few days as a check-in. The reward for me with 75 Hard was being able to finish it. I knew it was possible because I saw my husband do it so this was built in accountability and discipline. I knew my husband was not going to give up so I couldn’t either. This helped me stay committed for the long term.

[29:02] Are You Suffering in a Commitment You Are Trying to Make?

You may also be in a situation where you have been suffering in a commitment that you are trying to make. This might be a commitment to a job you do not like or a commitment to a difficult family relationship. If you are dealing with this, I would encourage you to consider what new practices or mindsets you can add that can help you stay consistent and build your inner strength. 

For example, when I was a young mom I had many long days. My husband traveled a lot and I was homeschooling a child with special needs. I was home alone with a lot of chaos and it was very difficult. This is when I began running as I talked about earlier. It taught me that I could get through this and it allowed me to trust God to give me the patience and encouragement to get through the day. I encourage you to reflect on this question:

“Is there something that I can bring in, such as a daily challenge, to remind myself that I can get through this season?” 

[31:48] The Greatest Gift of Commitment and Consistency is The Person We Become

The greatest gift of commitment and consistency is that they lead us to become the people that we were called to be in Christ. They build character traits in us that eventually lead to freedom and more joy. The person we become as a result of these commitments is more important than checking a box to say we did it. 

I know that when you are in the middle of a commitment and you do not want to keep going it is hard to have that motivation – but I want to remind you that the gift might not be in that moment, but in the person you will become. God is the one directing us to who we need to be and giving us the strength to step into those commitments. But we have the responsibility and choice to choose if we are going to live in the joy that He promises us. Those gifts are there because we are daughters and sons who are grafted into the branch as part of His Kingdom, but we cannot access them with certain mindsets and habits. If we do not stay committed and consistent then it is going to be hard to enjoy the full fruit of God’s Kingdom.

Another great tool you can use to develop joy as you build commitments to yourself is this new free video teaching that I have called 10 Habits and Mindsets to Cultivate Extraordinary Joy. It gives you very practical things that you can do right now to set yourself up to receive godly joy. I give you five habits and five mindsets that you can practice starting today. Even if you build just one or two into your life, it can begin to reawaken this joy. Honestly, joy might be the thing that gives you the ability to keep going and the commitment that is before you. 

I want to remind you, friend, that God has given each of us a gift, and staying committed to ourselves to be the person He wants us to be is important.

RESOURCES:

Godly joy is a fruit of the spirit, but our physical, mental, and spiritual states (things we’re in charge of) play a huge role in our ability to receive godly joy. Let me show you 10 practical ways to tap into everyday Christ-centered joy in my new free video training:  10 Habits and Mindsets to Cultivate Extraordinary Joy. Download it now!

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