323: Is Gratitude Possible…When I Still Want Things To Change In My Life?
How can we be genuinely grateful when there’s still so much we wish would change?
In this episode, Alicia explores the emotional and spiritual tension between contentment and desire. Learn why wanting more doesn’t make you ungrateful and how to offer God gratitude even when life still feels unresolved.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
[00:00] Can You Be Grateful and Still Long for More?
[02:00] What’s the Difference Between Contentment and Resignation?
[04:00] How Philippians 4:11–13 Reveals the “Secret” of True Contentment
[06:00] How Can You Know If Your Desires Are Anchored in God?
[07:00] Does Gratitude Mean Staying Silent About Pain?
[08:00] What Do the Stories of the Loaves and Last Supper Teach About Thanks?
[10:00] How Can You Be Thankful In a Situation—Even If You're Not Thankful For It?
[12:00] What Real-Life Gratitude Looks Like in Marriage, Parenting, and Work
[00:00] Can You Be Grateful and Still Long for More?
We’re often told that if we’re grateful, we shouldn’t want anything to change. But Scripture doesn’t support that.
You can thank God for what is while still bringing Him your longing for more. That’s not ingratitude, it’s faith.
Gratitude doesn’t mean denying reality. It means trusting that God is present in both what’s good and what’s still painful. You’re allowed to hold both.
[02:00] What’s the Difference Between Contentment and Resignation?
Contentment says, “Even in this, God is with me.”
Resignation says, “This will never change, so why bother?”
When we confuse the two, we risk settling into hopelessness instead of faith.
True contentment, as Paul describes in Philippians 4, is something learned, something shaped over time by choosing trust, not indifference.
[04:00] How Philippians 4:11–13 Reveals the Secret of True Contentment
Philippians 4:11–13 says:
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation… I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”
This verse doesn’t promise a life without desire or disappointment. It teaches that contentment isn’t about external peace—it’s about internal surrender to God’s sustaining strength.
It’s not natural. It’s learned. And it’s a gift from God, not something we force.
[06:00] How Can You Know If Your Desires Are Anchored in God?
Not every desire is wrong. Some are holy. Some are human.
The key is to ask:
- Is this desire drawing me closer to God or pulling me away?
- Does it reflect His character and timing?
- Am I willing to trust Him with the outcome?
When our desires are surrendered, not silenced, they can become doorways to deeper faith instead of roadblocks to contentment.
[07:00] Does Gratitude Mean Staying Silent About Pain?
Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means saying, “God, I see You even here.” It makes space to grieve what hasn’t happened and thank Him for what has.
In the Gospels, we see Jesus give thanks even in sorrow. He didn’t wait for the pain to pass before practicing gratitude.
You can bring your full, unedited story to God, joy and sorrow, hope and ache and still be thankful.
[08:00] What Do the Stories of the Loaves and Last Supper Teach About Thanks?
Before feeding the 5,000, Jesus gave thanks for the little He had. And it multiplied.
Before going to the cross, Jesus broke bread and gave thanks at the Last Supper.
He didn’t wait until the miracle came or the pain passed. He gave thanks in the middle.
Gratitude isn’t just a response to the good. It’s a rhythm that changes how we walk through the hard.
[10:00] How Can You Be Thankful In a Situation—Even If You're Not Thankful For It?
There’s a difference between being thankful for a circumstance and being thankful in it.
When life is hard, you may not feel thankful for the circumstance but you can still thank God for His presence, His provision, and His unchanging nature.
This shift reframes your mindset:
Instead of “This hurts, so I can’t be grateful,” you begin to say, “This hurts, but I still choose to see where God is working.”
[12:00] What Real-Life Gratitude Looks Like in Marriage, Parenting, and Work
Gratitude isn’t always loud or poetic. Sometimes it sounds like:
“I’m thankful we had five peaceful minutes today, even if the rest of the day was chaos.”
“I’m thankful for progress, even if it’s slower than I want.”
“I’m thankful that I’m learning how to show up differently in my work.”
In real life, gratitude is often quiet, specific, and hard-won. But it shifts the atmosphere of our hearts and our homes.
RESOURCES:
Want practical help learning to manage your emotions better? Join us in Alicia’s Emotional Confidence Club!
We’re a Christ-centered community of women learning to process everyday emotions—like disappointment, overwhelm, and shame—using a science-and-Scripture-based roadmap that makes emotional healing practical, powerful, and personal.
Every 6 weeks we welcome new members and focus on a new topic (and Sept/Oct is on “Finding Authentic Gratitude”)!
Apply now to join us at AliciaMichelle.com/club.
RELATED EPISODES:
Ep 322: How Can I Practice Gratitude When I'm Tired, Overwhelmed + Maxed Out?
Ep 321: How Can I Be Grateful When Brokenness Is Everywhere?
Ep 285: Toxic Gratitude: When Is Being Thankful More Harmful Than Helpful?
