378: What Actually Helps When You’re Carrying a Lot Emotionally

What do you actually need when you’re carrying a lot emotionally and you don’t even know where to start? In this episode, we’re slowing down and looking at five different emotional needs that can show up when life feels heavy—from feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to think clearly, to needing rest, deeper connection with God, community, or help navigating a specific situation. 

Instead of assuming you need to try harder or learn “one more thing”, let’s talk about how to identify what you actually need in this season and choose a next step that fits.  

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN 

[00:00] When Your Emotions Feel Like Too Much to Handle 

[05:00] Why You Need to Regulate Before You Process 

[10:00] When You’ve Been Carrying Too Much for Too Long 

[18:00] Creating a Regular Rhythm of Connection With God 

[24:00] Turning What You’ve Learned Into Real-Life Practice 

[27:00] When You Need Help With a Specific Situation 

[31:00] Figuring Out What You Actually Need Right Now 

[33:00] Taking One Next Step Instead of Staying Stuck 

[00:00] When Your Emotions Feel Like Too Much to Handle 

Have you ever gotten to the point where you have so many emotions happening at once that you honestly don't even know where to start? Maybe you're crying unexpectedly, shutting down, feeling completely overwhelmed, or thinking, Why can't I just get myself together? You may know you're capable, smart, and able to handle a lot, which can make it even more frustrating when your emotions suddenly feel like too much. 

I've heard so many women say some version of, “I know I shouldn't react this way, but I can't seem to stop it.” And then shame gets added on top of the overwhelm.  

If this is where you are, I don't want you to immediately assume something is wrong with you. There may be a very practical first step that can help you get out of survival mode so you can actually begin to understand what's happening inside. 

[05:00] Why You Need to Regulate Before You Process 

When you're highly overwhelmed, your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do. Your nervous system can move into a survival state, and when that happens, it's much harder to think clearly, process what's happening, or even hear what God may be speaking to you. That's why sometimes the answer isn't another insight or another thing to figure out—it's learning how to calm your body first. 

I call this “prep before you process.” Before we try to unpack everything underneath the emotion, we can help our bodies regulate so we're in a better place to actually process with the Lord. If you're feeling like, I have all these emotions and I don't even know where to begin, starting with regulation can give you that first little bit of space.  

If you need to learn practical ways to calm the overwhelming feelings (the tools behind “prep before you process”) the Emotional Overwhelm Reset System is the best place to start.  

[10:00] When You’ve Been Carrying Too Much for Too Long 

Sometimes you're not completely out of control—you're just tired. You've been carrying a lot for a long time, and eventually you realize that even though the crisis has passed, you're still emotionally exhausted from everything you had to hold together. 

I experienced this when one of my children went through a very difficult season that involved hospitalization, rehab, and a long period of managing her care. When things finally became more stable, I realized just how depleted I was. I didn't necessarily need another thing to do; I needed space to process what had happened, grieve what had been lost, thank God for what He had done, and allow my soul to catch up with my body. 

That can happen after caregiving, a major family transition, ministry, grief, disappointment, or a season where you've simply been holding your breath for a long time. Sometimes what you need isn't more information. You need replenishment. 

I understand this deep soul replenishment, and that’s why I created my Rest + Restore Retreats. Check here to see what live retreats I’m currently offering, or get the same sort of replenishment (that fits your budget, your time frame and your lifestyle) with my Virtual Rest Retreat experience.  

[18:00] Creating a Regular Rhythm of Connection With God 

Maybe you're not in a huge emotional crisis. You simply want to feel closer to Jesus in the middle of your everyday life. You might read your Bible and pray, but still wonder, How do I actually slow down enough to experience God's presence and let His truth settle into me? 

I've found that having a simple rhythm can make a huge difference. We can't realistically expect ourselves to go from laundry, work, caregiving, and making dinner straight into “Be still and know that I am God” without giving our bodies and minds a chance to transition. Christian meditation can provide a structure for slowing down, engaging Scripture, and allowing those truths to move from something we simply read into something we are actually experiencing with God.  

I designed my 30 Christian Meditations for Calm to not only be a powerful, easy connection point with Jesus around scriptural truth, but it’s a wonderful way to calm a racing mind and re-discover peace in your soul. These meditations are 5-7 minutes long and offered on-demand—just press play from any digital device! 

[24:00] Turning What You’ve Learned Into Real-Life Practice 

There comes a point when we don't need to consume another book, listen to another podcast, or learn another concept. We need to practice what we already know.  

You can hear something that sounds wonderful, but then your husband says something, your daughter makes a comment, your friend doesn't text back, or your mom pushes a button—and suddenly you're responding exactly the way you always have. 

That's one of the reasons I created the Emotional Confidence Club. It's meant to be more like a laboratory than a classroom. We learn something, experiment with it in real life, come back and talk about what happened, and figure out what we might try differently next time. It's about taking emotional tools and actually putting them into practice with other women who are doing the same thing. 

[27:00] When You Need Help With a Specific Situation 

Sometimes you don't need another general resource—you need someone to help you figure out your situation. Maybe your adult child is making choices you don't agree with, your marriage is changing, someone in your family keeps crossing your boundaries, or you're hurt and don't know whether you should say something. You've learned a lot, but you're still thinking, Okay, but what do I actually do here? 

This is where coaching can be especially helpful. It's an opportunity to slow down, look at what's happening beneath the surface, understand what's actually your responsibility, and discern how the Holy Spirit may be inviting you to respond. Sometimes having someone ask the right questions helps untangle the knots enough for you to see your next step. 

[31:00] Figuring Out What You Actually Need Right Now 

If you're carrying a lot emotionally, I want you to stop for a minute and ask a different question. Instead of How do I fix all of this? ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” 

Do you need a practical tool? A step-by-step plan? Rest? A rhythm of connection with God? Community? Or do you need someone to help you untangle a complicated situation? Different needs require different kinds of support, and recognizing what you actually need can keep you from continually reaching for the wrong solution. 

[33:00] Taking One Next Step Instead of Staying Stuck 

You don't have to figure out everything you're carrying today. And you don't have to solve every emotional issue before you can move forward. 

Sometimes the most important thing is simply identifying the need underneath the heaviness and asking God, “What is my next step?”  

You may still have a lot going on, but taking one small step forward can help you move out of that feeling of being stuck and remind you that you're not alone in this. God has a plan to help you through what you're carrying. 

RELATED EPISODES: 

Ep 374: 5 Types of Emotional Overwhelm—Which Are You Experiencing? 

Ep 373: What Is Emotional Regulation (And Why It's More Than Calming Yourself Down)  

Ep 372: Why Managing Overwhelm Is Where Emotional Healing Begins