377: “Which Voice Should I Listen To?” Making Sense of Your Competing Thoughts + Emotions 

Some days it feels like there’s a ton of different voices in your head—each one saying something different. Which do we listen to? One says, “Do this,” while another says, “No, stay here,” and then guilt, fear, or another emotion gets added to the mix. In this episode, we’re talking about where those competing thoughts and emotions can come from and how to make sense of them without automatically believing, obeying, or shutting them down. 

We’ll look at the different parts of our inner experience, why emotions, predictions, beliefs, and needs aren't all the same thing, and how our past experiences can influence what feels loudest in the moment. Most importantly, we’ll talk about what it looks like to bring all of those voices before the Holy Spirit, allowing them to be heard without allowing them to lead. 

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN 

[00:00] Why It Can Feel Like You Have Conflicting Voices Inside 

[02:00] Understanding the Different Parts of Your Inner Experience 

[05:00] Emotions, Predictions, Beliefs + Needs Aren’t All the Same 

[08:00] When Your Past Experiences Get Loud 

[10:00] Bringing Your Inner Noise to God Instead of Shutting It Down 

[14:00] Letting Every Voice Have a Seat—but Not the Head of the Table 

[17:00] Knowing What to Process With God + What to Bring to Someone Else 

[20:00] Taking Your Thoughts Captive Under the Authority of Christ 

[00:00] Why It Can Feel Like You Have Conflicting Voices Inside 

Have you ever had a situation where one part of you wants to do one thing, another part wants to do something completely different, and then guilt or fear gets thrown into the mix?  

You know what you're “supposed” to do, but internally there is a whole conversation happening that makes it difficult to know what you actually want or what God is asking you to do. 

This came up during a speaking engagement when a woman asked what to do with all of the different ideas and parts floating around in her head. It's such a common experience, and I think sometimes we make it harder by assuming that every thought or feeling has to immediately be categorized as either God's truth or a lie. There can be a lot more happening inside of us than that. 

[02:00] Understanding the Different Parts of Your Inner Experience 

One way psychology describes these different experiences is through Internal Family Systems (IFS). It talks about different “parts” that develop through our personality and past experiences and are often trying, in their own way, to help us navigate the world. 

There are managers who try to prevent bad things from happening, firefighters who want to make pain stop immediately, and exiles who pull away when they're hurting.  

You don't have to adopt every part of the IFS framework to recognize something important here: different experiences inside of us can have different motivations. Understanding where a voice is coming from can help us respond with curiosity rather than immediately judging ourselves. 

[05:00] Emotions, Predictions, Beliefs + Needs Aren’t All the Same 

One of the most important distinctions in this episode is recognizing that not everything we think or feel carries the same kind of information or authority.  

“I'm afraid” is an emotion.  

“This is going to end badly” is a prediction.  

“I'm terrible at relationships” is a belief or story.  

And “I can't take one more thing right now” may be pointing to a very real need or limit. 

An emotion isn't a command, and a prediction isn't a fact. Instead of immediately deciding whether each thought is true or false, we can ask what information it might be giving us. That allows us to acknowledge what's happening inside without automatically letting it determine what we do. 

[08:00] When Your Past Experiences Get Loud 

I was recently talking with a friend who is in a new relationship after having some painful experiences in past relationships. This new relationship was healthy and refreshing, but she noticed herself constantly analyzing comments, feeling defensive, and wondering what certain things meant. Her brain was trying to protect her based on what she'd experienced before, even though the current situation was different. 

That doesn't mean every fearful thought is a warning from God, and it doesn't mean we should ignore our instincts. Sometimes it's simply our brain responding to an old pattern that has been activated. We can notice that voice and say, “That's interesting. I wonder why that's here?” without immediately believing it or pushing it away. 

[10:00] Bringing Your Inner Noise to God Instead of Shutting It Down 

As Christians, we can sometimes feel pressure to shut down anything that doesn't sound spiritual enough. But God isn't asking us to pretend we don't have complicated thoughts, emotions, fears, or needs. He wants us to be honest with Him about what is actually happening inside of us. 

Psalm 42 gives us such a beautiful picture of this: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?” The psalmist acknowledges what he's feeling and then speaks truth to himself: “Put your hope in God.” There is room for the emotion to be there while still allowing God to speak into what happens next. 

[14:00] Letting Every Voice Have a Seat—but Not the Head of the Table 

Here's the picture I want you to remember: imagine all of those different voices sitting around a dinner table. They can all have a seat at the table, but the Holy Spirit sits at the head of the table. 

That means I don't have to silence the part of me that's afraid, and I don't have to automatically obey the part of me that's angry or predicting something bad will happen. I can listen with compassion, understand where that voice is coming from, and then bring everything before God and ask, “Lord, what do You want me to do with all of this?” 

[17:00] Knowing What to Process With God + What to Bring to Someone Else 

Sometimes the next step after listening to what's happening inside of us is to talk with another person. But sometimes what we're experiencing is something God is inviting us to work through with Him rather than immediately bringing it into the relationship. This has been especially important for me in marriage. 

I've learned that there have been plenty of times when a voice inside me felt so loud and urgent that I thought my husband needed to hear everything I was thinking. But after slowing down and bringing it to God, I realized there was a deeper need underneath it that my husband couldn't actually fix. Learning when to speak and when to pause has brought so much more freedom and reduced unnecessary drama in my marriage. 

[20:00] Taking Your Thoughts Captive Under the Authority of Christ 

Taking every thought captive doesn't mean grabbing every thought and forcing it to disappear. It can look more like sitting all of those thoughts and emotions down at the table, listening to what they're trying to tell you, and then bringing them under the authority of Christ. 

So when something loud comes up, try getting curious instead of immediately shutting it down. You can write it out, pray about it, talk with a trusted person, and ask God:  

What is this voice trying to show me?  

Is there a deeper need here?  

Is there a lie I need to recognize?  

What do You want me to do with this?  

You don't have to decide immediately which voice is right or wrong—you can slow down, listen, and let the Holy Spirit lead. 

RELATED EPISODES: 

Ep 374: 5 Types of Emotional Overwhelm—Which Are You Experiencing? 

Ep 373: What Is Emotional Regulation (And Why It's More Than Calming Yourself Down)  

Ep 372: Why Managing Overwhelm Is Where Emotional Healing Begins