236: It’s Safe for You to Become the Woman God Intends You to Be
Last Updated on August 29, 2024 by Alicia Michelle
Do you feel safe to step into your calling and follow your dreams? Unfortunately, many of us have had our safety compromised through different life experiences and we now find ourselves relying on logical willpower to meet our goals.
In today’s episode, I am diving into the possibility of rebuilding emotional safety within ourselves and God to move forward in confidence. By overcoming fear, managing emotions, and remembering that you are fully loved as you are – you can become who God intends you to be.As you walk into goal planning for the next year, make sure to ask yourself the three questions that I share in this episode so that you can dream big and become the best version of yourself!
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- [03:19] The “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Program
- [05:21] You Do Not Have to Change To Be Accepted by God
- [11:53] What Is Our Role In Becoming The Best Version of Ourselves?
- [13:09] The First Question We Can Ask Ourselves As We Move Forward – “God, What Do You Have For Me In This Season?”
- [15:47] The Importance of Feeling Safety and Security While Moving Toward Our Dreams
- [21:43] The Second Question We Can Ask Ourselves As We Move Forward – “Do I Feel Safe In God?”
- [25:46] The Third Question We Can Ask Ourselves As We Move Forward – “How Has God Been Faithful In The Past?”
[03:19] The “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Program
Are you looking for accountability and encouragement as you make life changes in 2024? If so, make sure to apply for the 12-week “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching program! If you are ready to get to the next level in your life, whether that be a new season of life or a dream you are pursuing, this program can help you move forward toward that version of you.
This program is a combination of one-on-one and group coaching. We will be addressing and sharing about different topics in a small group of women, who you can lean on for support while you grow. If you want help in creating a plan in a structured environment, this program would be perfect for you.
This is the first time I have done a group coaching program around goal setting so I am excited to be able to invest in women in this way! This program is by application only and there will be a limited number of women accepted because I want this to be an intimate group. If you are interested, I encourage you to go here to see if you are a great fit and then apply!
[05:21] You Do Not Have to Change To Be Accepted by God
Before we talk about anything else, I want you to hear that you do not have to change, achieve, perform, or do anything else to be accepted by God. There is nothing that you can do to make Him love you better next year. He loves you fully right now. It is not about achieving, this is about growing into the best version of ourselves while loving ourselves and God enough to step into His calling for us. It is about feeling safe to grow into that season and confidently move forward into our calling because we are loved.
We respond, live, and show up differently when we operate from a foundation of confidence. One of my favorite quotes is by a young woman who lost her arm in a shark accident, Bethany Hamilton. She says “Confident women make different choices”. When we have the confidence that the Lord is with us and the safety that He is walking beside us, we are much more secure in pursuing hard or scary things outside our comfort zone.
I wanted to share a few verses that can support us around this idea of not achieving to get love but instead, moving forward because we are loved:
Colossians 2:6-7 “Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” There is a continuation of moving forward in our relationship with the Lord. God is always calling us to follow Him upward, higher, and deeper by knowing and trusting Him more. We do this by letting our roots grow down into Him and letting our lives be built on Him. This is how we overflow with thankfulness and shine for Him.
Ephesians 3:16-19 “I pray that out of his glorious riches, He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” That deep, wide, long, high love that they are speaking about is a love that is present. It is a graceful gift and we do not have to work harder to get it. We will be continually plumbing the depths of this fullness, even into eternity. From this love, we can move forward in safety to becoming who we feel God is calling us to be.
John 15:5-8 talks about the concept of the vine and branches. Jesus is saying, “If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit apart from me, you can do nothing”. Any growth that we have is coming from God working in us versus us trying even harder. A branch that is connected to the vine is not producing the energy on its own, it takes both of them. We know that our power and energy to move forward comes from God Himself. Like a gardener assessing different plants and seeing what needs to happen to help them grow to the next level, God is doing this within us.
[11:53] What Is Our Role In Becoming The Best Version of Ourselves?
Since God is the one who is equipping and empowering us to be who we need to be, our role is to show up, be willing, and remove any obstacle that is in the way. It is about asking God to help us when we feel limitations come up and that we cannot move forward. We have to be willing to be laid before Him and do the work.
You need to allow yourself to become aware of what the best version of yourself looks like in this season. Ask yourself these questions and sit with God to understand what the next level He is calling you into:
-Do I need to be more or less visible?
-Do I need to speak up in certain areas and close my mouth in others?
-Do I need to surrender control?
-Do I need to start something new or persevere through what is in front of me?
[13:09] The First Question We Can Ask Ourselves As We Move Forward – “God, What Do You Have For Me In This Season?”
There are three questions that you can ask yourself and God as you sit with Him. Number one is “What do you have for me in this season?” Before the new year starts, I invite you to have a date with Jesus. Set some time aside to be by yourself with your journal and Bible and take time to write things down in silence. Whether you are acknowledging what this last year has been like or asking Him what is next, take this time to be with Him.
Before we can move forward, we have to ask ourselves what we are doing. This is a critical time for us to sit with the Lord while listening and sharing what is on our hearts. Let God lead you through His Word or speak to you through prayer. We can have a desire to move towards something, but only the Holy Spirit can give us direction for what is next.
[15:47] The Importance of Feeling Safety and Security While Moving Toward Our Dreams
In the title of this episode, I used a very specific phrase – “it’s safe”. I think it is really important to remind ourselves of this because no matter what God reveals to us in that first question, we need to know that we are safe and secure.
Why is it so critical that we feel safe? Because when we feel safe and secure, our limbic system can function from a parasympathetic state (the rest and digest mode) instead of a sympathetic state (the fight or flight mode). If we do not feel safe, we are going to be stuck in fight or flight. If we can find safety, then we can turn down the dial on all of our worries so we can move forward and hear from the Lord. We need to have a sense of safety so our brains can be in the right place as we are processing things.
Some of us have been trying to make big decisions our entire lives without setting up this cushion of safety. We may have tried to embrace or initiate change through logical willpower by working harder and doing more. But if the limbic system is stuck in fight or flight, we are working against ourselves in the process. We cannot just push and achieve our goals, we need to have security and safety.
In my early 20s, I took part in a team-building exercise in the forest. We had to climb 40 feet to the top of some trees and walk 20 feet across a log. I have a fear of heights to begin with so I was very scared. I remember in that moment, freaking out, and then seeing my partner on the ground with a sturdy wire that was attached to me on a belay. I knew that this exercise was about trust and I knew that if I fell I was going to be held. I was full of fear but at that moment I decided that I needed to do this. To push through this fear, I needed to feel safe. I could not push through it on willpower alone because I could not calm my brain down enough to say “It is okay”. I needed to fully believe that I was safe to move forward. The Bible says that Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. He knew what His goal and mission were and He still moved towards it because He was called to do this. That is someone who knows that if they feel safe, they can move forward with confidence.
If you did not have a safe place growing up or you still do not feel safe in your home, I am so sorry. I want to acknowledge and recognize that. You are not alone and your pain is seen. If you feel paralyzed in moving forward because you are unsafe, I want you to ask God if rediscovering safety is part of His plan for you in 2024. The Bible describes God as a strong tower, a refuge in times of trouble, and a safe place in the middle of the storm. He is everything we need and we need to not just learn about this, but also watch Him show up and build this safety for us.
[21:43] The Second Question We Can Ask Ourselves As We Move Forward – “Do I Feel Safe In God?”
The second question we can ask ourselves is “Do I feel safe in God?” and if you don’t, ask yourself “Why does it make sense that I question this safety?” You can be 100% transparent while answering this question because most of us have been hurt and have our safety shaken throughout life. You may have found healing in this area and then something else came up to shake it again. Underneath all of this is the question: “Do I feel safe in God?” Before we move forward, we have to feel safe and trust God. All of the things that have happened to us can shake our sense of safety and have us ask questions like “Is God for me? Is God here? Why didn’t God change this?”
The book “The Body Keeps The Score”, talks about the link between trauma and disease. The cause and effect of trauma not only affects our emotions but our physical bodies as well. We need to consider this concept when we think about how our foundation of trust in God is shaken. In the same way that the body keeps the score, our soul keeps the score.
One of the first questions we consider in the Christian Mindset Makeover is “Do I feel safe to go to God?” Even though most of the women in the Makeover have been in bible studies, go to church every week, and are Bible-believing Christians, about 90% of them have had things happen to them where this foundation of feeling safe in God has been compromised.
If we feel safe in Christ then we can move forward through fear and obstacles with confidence. We all need this “oomph” to remind us of the truth and to push through the fear, but this all starts with a sense of safety. One of my favorite quotes right now is “Be afraid and do it anyway” Fear is not going away, it is a natural protective mechanism in our brain. It allows us to lean on, and trust God in a new way.
[25:46] The Third Question We Can Ask Ourselves As We Move Forward – “How Has God Been Faithful In The Past?”
Lastly, I encourage you to reflect on how God has been faithful in the past. Look at the last 6-12 months to see what He has been doing and how He has shown up for you. This does not mean that you have not had challenges or difficulties, and we want to honor those, but how have you seen Him changing things? Begin to cultivate and keep a record of those to look back on because those are the things that help build our faith and the ability to trust God. This also helps us to feel safe to step into our next level. Our soul needs continuous reminders that He has been faithful. It is important to recognize all that He has done for us because it gives us the courage, safety, and stability to move forward.
The next few weeks are a wonderful time to soak in some quality time by yourself. You can wake up a little earlier, take moments by yourself in the middle of the day, or even at night when the day starts to calm down. Choose to sit with the Lord and let Him speak to you so that you can step into what He is calling you to do next.
It is safe, it is possible, and it is important for what you have ahead. If you desire support in stepping into the best version of yourself, make sure to apply to be a part of the “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching program, because I would love to help you fulfill your calling in 2024!
RESOURCES:
“Onward + Upward” Group Coaching
OTHER RELATED EPISODES:
235: Join me! Group Coaching: Let's Go Onward + Upward in Your Godly Calling in 2024
“Onward + Upward” Group Coaching:
A brand new year is upon us and I am wondering, are you ready to make a change?
Maybe there is a dream or desire in your heart for things to be different. Or maybe there is a new hobby, habit, or goal that you are trying to pursue but you need concrete steps and loving support to work through the fear and overwhelm.
If this sounds like you, I invite you to apply for the “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching experience that starts January 22nd.
Imagine having 12 weeks of one-on-one coaching support and a community of caring women going through the same experience to help you meet your goals.
Throughout this program, I will support you in confidently creating a step-by-step action plan as you work through obstacles and grow spiritually.
I can't wait to help you release fear and build confidence to boldly follow God’s plan for your life!
