280: Emotional Confidence Despite Political Anxiety and Election Stress
Managing our emotions is crucial for navigating difficult conversations during times of political anxiety and election stress. Join me as I discuss the importance of speaking the truth in love and share key questions to ask yourself before engaging with those who hold differing opinions—all while building emotional confidence with Scripture in mind.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- [03:15] How to Stay Kind and Christ-Like in Difficult Situations (Pre-Order Two Copies of Emotional Confidence For This BONUS Training!)
- [04:39] As Followers of Christ, We Are Called to Speak Truth in Love
- [07:30] Could Not Responding Be the Best Response?
- [11:08] Why Is It Important to Be Cautious About Issues Not Directly Addressed in Scripture?
- [12:46] “God is The One Who Convinces Hearts of What is True”
- [15:23] How Can We Use ADD to Navigate Conflict With People Who Have Differing Opinions?
- [26:26] How Can Emotional Prep Help Us During These Situations?
- [29:09] Looking for Support in Managing Your Emotions During Conflict? If So, Get Your Copy of Emotional Confidence!
[03:15] How to Stay Kind and Christ-Like in Difficult Situations (Pre-Order Two Copies of Emotional Confidence For This BONUS Training!)
Before we dive into today's topic, I want to share an exciting bonus resource available to those who pre-order two or more copies of my book Emotional Confidence which comes out on November 12, 2024. This resource is an extra podcast episode on staying emotionally calm and responding with kindness and Christ-like love in challenging situations. Whether you are dealing with difficult people, holiday stress, or the political climate we are all navigating in America, this resource will help you stay grounded in how God calls us to respond, even when faced with triggers.
[04:39] As Followers of Christ, We Are Called to Speak Truth in Love
It is important to remember that we do not have to let our emotions dictate how we respond when triggered by political issues. We can be in the middle of a chaotic political season, express what we are feeling, and honor those emotions in a way that honors our witness to Christ. The first and most important principle when sharing truth and opinions is this: we are always called to speak in love, never in hate. We do not have to agree with others but we must still treat them with love no matter how emotionally charged a conversation becomes. There is never an excuse for name-calling, slander, or hate speech. We are called to treat others with love and respect, period.
Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become, in every respect, the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Jesus spoke truth with love and He walked this line perfectly while He was on Earth. As His followers, we are called to do the same.
1 Corinthians 13:6 says, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Our goal should never be to rejoice in someone’s misfortune or in making someone look bad. Instead, we rejoice in the truth being spoken and received.
Here are some questions to ask yourself if you feel called to share but are not sure of your intentions:
-What is my true purpose in sharing?
-Am I trying to make someone look bad, demean, or belittle them?
-Am I trying to simply win an argument?
-Am I trying to make myself appear more intelligent or “right”?
[07:30] Could Not Responding Be the Best Response?
Another important truth to remember is that sometimes the loudest message we can send about any issue is to not respond at all. St. Francis of Assisi had a famous quote that says, “Preach always, and sometimes use words.” Yes, we are called to stand for justice and distinguish good from evil, but there is a time to speak and a time to remain silent. Ecclesiastes 3:7 says, “A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.” This reminds us of this balance and we are guided by the Holy Spirit in knowing when to speak and when to stay quiet.
A powerful example of this is when Jesus stood before the Sanhedrin and the Roman authorities. How many people were yelling at Him, spitting at Him, and throwing insults? Yet, He still chose not to respond and when He did speak, it was simply to state the truth – not out of spite or to prove Himself right.
I also love the scripture from Matthew where Jesus says, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves; therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” When we speak on any issue, our words are 1000 times more powerful when they come from a place of purity and innocence. I often tell my kids to let others say what they want about you or someone else but you prove who you are by your actions and your words. People may choose to be rude or unkind but if you remain kind and loving, their behavior reflects on them, not you. In time, either they or others will see the truth of the situation and you can stand before God knowing you acted rightly, representing yourself in a way that honors Him.
Here are some questions to consider before you respond:
-Will what I’m about to say cause more division, especially if shared publicly? This is a key consideration for social media posts.
-Would the truth be best served by choosing not to respond?
-Could there be a more productive way to engage? Sometimes having a private conversation with someone who genuinely wants to listen is far more effective than engaging in a public dispute. There will be people who sincerely want to hear your perspective and others who just want to poke at us to get a reaction. That is why it is so important to listen to the Holy Spirit and manage what we are feeling internally.
[11:08] Why Is It Important to Be Cautious About Issues Not Directly Addressed in Scripture?
The third truth to consider is that some issues are make or break (those with clear scriptural answers) while others fall into gray areas. We may feel a strong conviction about these gray areas and that conviction may even come from the Lord, but it is not outlined in Scripture. When this is the case, we need to be careful about these issues.
Rupertus Meldenius, a 16th-century Lutheran theologian, is credited with the saying, “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; and in all things, charity.” This reminds us to:
-Be united around things that are clearly truth
-Give room for liberty for things that are not as essential as truth and clearly outlined
-And in all things, give charity by giving space for people to grow their faith in these areas for God to convict them in His time.
A key question to ask ourselves in these situations is:
-Am I viewing this issue (whether it is a political issue or another hot-button topic) as a black-and-white matter with only one answer? And if so, is that stance based on clear scriptural truth or am I dealing with a gray area where different opinions can exist? Seeking God’s wisdom in discerning the reality of these situations is crucial.
[12:46] “God is The One Who Convinces Hearts of What is True”
The last truth I want to share is that while we are called to be witnesses to God’s truth, it is important to remember that only God can truly convince hearts of what is true. One of my favorite passages in Scripture is Romans 1, which shares how the demise of humanity is that we can go from having one viewpoint to allowing that viewpoint to corrupt our minds to eventually be turned away from God.
Believe it or not, God gives each person the freedom to choose what they believe about Him or about truth in general. In that section of Romans, we see that God makes His truth clear to everyone and He offers us the choice of whether or not to follow Him. He offers that choice with respect and kindness, He does not force us to believe anything. Instead, He lovingly draws us toward His truth, making it apparent but always leaving the decision in our hands. We should extend this courtesy to others when encountering differing opinions in the same way.
It is not our job to convince others of what we believe. We must release that responsibility to God. We can pray for others to see the truth and ask God to move in their hearts, but if He calls us to share, our job is simply to speak and then let it go. We need to give ourselves and others the same space that God gives us when He deals with us.
Some questions to consider:
-Can I share this information in a way that releases it without feeling responsible for convincing someone to believe it?
-Can I offer the truth and still respect their choice?
-Can I trust God to be God and to bring conviction and change in His timing?
-Can I let go and remain in unity, knowing God is in control, even if we are on opposite sides of the political spectrum or a particular issue?
[15:23] How Can We Use ADD to Navigate Conflict With People Who Have Differing Opinions?
I want to share how you can use ADD (Acknowledge, Discern, and Decide) to have conversations with people who have different opinions than you.
The first step is “Acknowledge” and this means recognizing the other person's opinion on the topic. If you have ever been in relationship therapy or couples counseling, you will notice that one of the first things they encourage is to let the other person know that you see and understand their feelings. So you can say, “I see you are feeling XYZ emotion”. By understanding and seeing the other person, we can make sense of why they feel this way. That is the heart of this step. It is about acknowledging your feelings as well as theirs.
Even when you strongly believe in your perspective, can you also acknowledge where the other person is coming from? Can you invite them to share their stance and reflect it back to them in a respectful way?
People are often caught off guard when they realize you are truly listening, especially in heated discussions like those around politics. Many people are quick to defend their views without really hearing the other side. When we take the time to listen, isn’t that love? Isn’t that how God calls us to lovingly engage? Acknowledging someone’s viewpoint does not mean you have to agree, it simply means, “I see you, and I understand why you feel this way.”
The next step is “Discern” which is about digging deeper to understand their viewpoint. What is the truth behind what they are saying?
If they are open to it, ask them how they developed their stance. Notice how factors like their background, culture, socioeconomic status, race, and beliefs shape their perspective. Understanding these influences helps us see why it makes sense that they believe this. In today’s world, where algorithms make it harder to hear an opinion outside of what we agree with, it is important to go outside of our bubble and learn how truth is cultivated in someone else’s life.
Even if their views conflict with scripture, our job is not to change or convict them, leave that to God. We are called to represent Christ in love, not to be disrespectful, rude, or dismissive because none of us have a perfect viewpoint on anything. We can respect others’ views even when they differ from ours, treating them with the same kindness and patience that God shows us.
Then we have “Decide” where we determine how the Holy Spirit is guiding us to respond in love. He might prompt you to gently speak His truth, share your own experience, or simply remain silent. There is no black-or-white answer for how to deal with every situation but we need to let Him lead us through the tricky waters with the idea of unity being our ultimate goal.
We never say things that are against the word of God because He does not call us to do that. We need to trust Him to let us know how to respond in love. Maybe He will even reveal that this topic, issue, and conversation is not that big of a deal so it does not need to be something that divides your church, friend group, or relationship. Although reconciliation around these political topics is not always possible – unity, love, and kindness are. We can respond with soft words even when we are dealing with fiery emotions. Soft words strengthen an argument and hate-filled words bring more hate. Love covers over every sin, as it says in 1 Corinthians.
I know it is not always easy to walk into these conversations with a cloak of love and I would strongly encourage you to use a tool like ADD to walk through your own feelings and emotions before you step into a situation.
And if you find it hard to speak respectfully and with love, then it's okay to walk away. We can say “You know what? That is a great point, can I get back to you with my thoughts on that?” In terms of social media, we can step away from our phones or computers before we respond. There is no rush and it is better to take the time to let things be sorted out before God before you respond with your emotions out of hate instead of love.
[26:26] How Can Emotional Prep Help Us During These Situations?
We discussed emotional prep in Episode 276 and it plays a crucial role in situations like this as well. Emotional prep is about allowing ourselves to transition from the fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system when our limbic system is firing and our logical mind is not on board, to the rest and digest system. This is where tools like those discussed in that episode and the book come into play. They provide insight into how we can shift our bodies into that more grounded state.
As human beings with free will and choice, particularly as Christians, we are called to act beyond our immediate physical responses. We are being guided by the Holy Spirit and we have the responsibility to learn how to bring our body into a different state so that we can respond with love and kindness. This is why I love teaching about emotions from both a scientific and scriptural perspective. God's truth informs how we are to respond and perceive the world, but we also exist in physical bodies that can sometimes keep us stuck in an unhelpful pattern. It makes sense that our responses do not always align with what we truly desire especially when our bodies conflict with our spiritual intentions.
As believers, we are tasked with understanding how our bodies work and how to use them to glorify God. We are called to submit every part of ourselves to Him, including our physical responses. Emotional prep is an example of taking what is within us, understanding our physical responses, and using the tools God has provided to ensure we can respond in line with the Holy Spirit’s power (in both our words and actions!)
Check out these episodes if you need help with this:
276: Do This BEFORE You Process Your Emotions (Emotional Prep)
277: Step 1: How Can We ACKNOWLEDGE Our Emotions Without Letting Them Take Over?
278: Step 2: How Can We DISCERN God’s Voice Over the Chaos of Our Emotions?
279: Step 3: How Can We DECIDE to Respond to Our Feelings In Light Of Biblical Truth?
[29:09] Looking for Support in Managing Your Emotions During Conflict? If So, Get Your Copy of Emotional Confidence!
My book, Emotional Confidence: 3 Simple Steps to Manage Emotions with Science and Scripture is going to dig into this and it is a really great resource to help you work through these things that come up.
There is a lot of division going on right now so please share this episode with someone it could help support. We all have the responsibility and the opportunity to share His truth and to be lights in this political election – while also doing it in a way that keeps our emotions in check and shares and honors the other's opinion in the way that God has for us.
If you are interested in the book to support you on this journey, I encourage you to preorder it.
And remember, if you pre-order two or more copies, you will receive the free bonus podcast episode called “How to Stay Emotionally Calm, Kind, and Christ-Like Around Challenging People or Situations.” Grab your copy of Emotional Confidence to learn this emotional management tool and so much more!
RESOURCES:
Tired of up-and-down feelings stealing your peace, sabotaging your relationships, and filling your mind with self-defeating thoughts? If so, make sure to get my new book, “Emotional Confidence: 3 Simple Steps to Manage Emotions with Science and Scripture”, coming November 12, 2024!
RELATED EPISODES:
271: (New Book!) Emotional Confidence: 3 Simple Steps to Manage Emotions with Science + Scripture
272: Healing from the Shame of Unprocessed Emotions in Your Life and Relationships
273: Overcome the Fear of Managing Emotions with 4 Empowering Truths
274: Are Emotions Sinful? How Can We Honor Emotions While Also Honoring Biblical Truth?
275: How Can I Name What I’m Feeling (When My Emotions Feel So Overwhelming)?
276: Do This BEFORE You Process Your Emotions (Emotional Prep)
277: Step 1: How Can We ACKNOWLEDGE Our Emotions Without Letting Them Take Over?
278: Step 2: How Can We DISCERN God’s Voice Over the Chaos of Our Emotions?
279: Step 3: How Can We DECIDE to Respond to Our Feelings In Light Of Biblical Truth?