383: When “It’s Still Not Changing”: Staying Faithful Through the Long Middle 

What do you do when you’ve prayed about something, surrendered it to God, done the emotional work, and it’s still not changing? When the same relationship, circumstance, or unresolved situation is still there months or even years later, it can be exhausting to keep showing up faithfully. 

In this episode, I’m talking about what it means to stay faithful through the long middle—the part of the journey where there’s no clear resolution or countdown clock.  

In the face of emotional weariness how can we keep taking the next faithful step and trust God with the part of the journey we can’t control? 

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN 

[00:00] When You’ve Done the Work and Things Still Aren’t Changing 
[03:00] What I Learned From My Younger Self About Weariness 
[07:00] What If the Answer Is Simply to Keep Showing Up? 
[10:00] Learning to Focus on the Next Five Steps 
[12:00] When Your Faith Feels More Like a Quiet Ember 
[15:00] Taking Care of Yourself While You Keep Going 
[18:00] Recognizing the Manna God Is Giving You Today 
[20:00] How to Keep Showing Up Without Numbing or Giving Up 

[00:00] When You’ve Done the Work and Things Still Aren’t Changing 

There is a particular kind of exhaustion that comes when you’ve already done a lot of the things you know you’re supposed to do. You’ve prayed, processed your emotions, set boundaries, surrendered, and tried not to control the situation, and yet you wake up and the same circumstances are still there. 

That can leave you asking, “What am I supposed to do now?” We often expect that if we take the right steps, eventually the situation will resolve. But what happens when there is no countdown clock and no clear end in sight?  

[03:00] What I Learned From My Younger Self About Weariness 

I can look back at myself as a young mom and see how differently I handled long seasons of difficulty. I prayed for God to change the situation, other people, or me, but underneath it all, I still believed I needed to fix things. I worked harder, stayed busy, and used work to numb out. 

Today, I have more tools and a deeper understanding of emotional regulation and surrender. And yet, I’m still weary sometimes. Emotional growth doesn’t mean we never get tired; it means we learn a different way to walk through the tiredness. 

[07:00] What If the Answer Is Simply to Keep Showing Up? 

Sometimes we’re looking for the combination of steps that will finally make the situation stop hurting. But what if the response God is asking of us is simply to keep showing up? 

Maybe you already know what you’re supposed to do: pray, love someone well, hold a boundary, stop trying to control what isn’t yours, and let grief take its time. Then you wake up the next day and do it again. It may feel unglamorous, but faithfulness is often built through those ordinary repetitions. 

[10:00] Learning to Focus on the Next Five Steps 

One of the most helpful pictures from the book, What Grows in Weary Lands, is the story of a younger monk who was exhausted from his long season in the desert. When he asked an older monk what he should do, the answer was essentially to stay in his cell and keep doing what he was called to do. 

We want God to fix it, heal it, or give us a clear sign that the season is ending. But sometimes we need to soften our gaze and stop looking at the entire journey.  

[12:00] When Your Faith Feels More Like a Quiet Ember 

We can sometimes expect our relationship with God to be filled with big emotional experiences. We want the breakthrough or the overwhelming moment where everything suddenly feels clear. But we can’t live there all the time. 

Faith can mature like a long-term marriage. The excitement of young love becomes something quieter, deeper, steadier, and more secure. Our faith can be the same. Sometimes it’s not a blazing fire but a slow, glowing ember. 

[15:00] Taking Care of Yourself While You Keep Going 

Staying faithful doesn’t mean ignoring your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Elijah gives us a beautiful example in 1 Kings 19. After an incredible spiritual victory, Elijah became exhausted and wanted to give up. God didn’t shame him. He gave him food, water, sleep, and then showed him his next steps. 

We can ask ourselves similar questions: Am I nourishing my body? Am I giving my mind space to rest? Am I creating room for Sabbath?  

[18:00] Recognizing the Manna God Is Giving You Today 

I’ve been thinking about the manna God gave the Israelites. He didn’t give them everything they would need for the next five years. He gave them what they needed for that day. That can be difficult because we want to know how we’ll get through the entire season. But God may only be asking us to receive today’s provision. 

Some days, the manna is a breakthrough or a moment when something feels lighter. Other days, it’s simply that God got you through the day. Both count.  

[20:00] How to Keep Showing Up Without Numbing or Giving Up 

There are two tempting ways to respond when the long middle becomes exhausting: we can numb ourselves or we can give up.  

Instead, God invites us to keep returning to Him honestly. Even “I’m tired of this. I’m tired of feeling like this” is still a prayer. We don’t have to manufacture beautiful words or pretend we feel full of faith. 

Galatians 6:9 reminds us not to grow weary in doing good, but that verse isn’t a command to simply push harder. God knows we’re weary, and His grace is present in the weariness too. 

RELATED EPISODES: 

Ep. 382: “I’m Just So Tired of This” — Helping Your Soul Find What It Needs in Desert Seasons 

Ep 381: My Life Right Now: When God Asks You to Surrender the Story You Wanted 

Ep. 373: What Is Emotional Regulation (And Why It’s More Than Calming Yourself Down)?