How to Flirt with Your Husband (18 Fun & Easy Ways)
Last Updated on August 22, 2024 by Alicia Michelle
Ladies, after more than 16 years of marriage, I've learned that there's a fine art to knowing how to flirt with your husband.
I mean, in the dating years, flirting with your man seemed so simple, right? You smiled. You made lighthearted jokes. Flirting was so natural. You assumed that flirting with your husband would always be easy, right?
But, if you and your husband are like most couples, life changed after marriage (and certainly after kids). You got out of the routine and, suddenly, flirting became second to keeping up with the chaos of family life.
I want to help you recapture that spark in your marriage by encouraging you with some great tips on how to flirt with your man. I believe flirting with your husband is the best way to keep friendship and fun the focus of your marriage!
Check out these 18 fun and easy tips (plus lots of great resources and ideas) on how to flirt with your husband today.
Flirting with Your Husband: It's About More Than Sex
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) If you're looking for a great resource on how to have better sex in Christian marriage, I would highly recommend The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire. This book is informative without being dirty.
And yes, of course, it can be a great help in learning how to flirt with your husband I'm all for having good sex. But honestly, flirting–like marriage–can be about so much more than just physical intimacy.
Discover that and you'll feed the fire of sexual intimacy as an awesome extra! Let's talk more about what flirting (that doesn't lead to sex) can look like.
What Does Flirting With Your Spouse Look Like?
We often think that flirting with our spouse has to mean bringing flowers, sending love notes and sexy lingerie.
Sure those things are nice, but that doesn't have to be all that flirting is.
And flirting doesn't have to be anything huge! Flirting is about knowing what makes your spouse smile. What makes their day. What would be a help to them.
Check out this video for a fun flirting idea (something fun my husband and I spontaneously did together)!
What If My Spouse Never Flirts With Me?
I totally hear you. We are busy, stressed people and marriage isn't always about one big flirt-fest. My spouse also travels a bit, so flirting in person isn't always a possibility.
You just do your part. You be the one to flirt first. Don't worry about if your husband isn't reciprocating right away, or if it isn't equal.
Flirting with your husband may even be a sacrifice at first. That's fine. Just do one thing today to flirt with your husband. And then tomorrow, do another.
If it's difficult, ask God to renew your hearts and to rediscover flirting as a way to regularly show love.
Learning how to flirt with your husband an important way to strengthen your relationship!
18 Easy Ways to Flirt With Your Husband Today
Flirting with your husband doesn't have to be confined by a set of “dos” and “don'ts.” Every couple has different ways to flirt and show love to each other!
Relax, have fun flirting with your husband (and let these 18 fun flirty ideas inspire you)!
1) Just-Between-You Jokes. You know the ones. When one of you says that phrase from that movie, it makes you laugh and giggle (and no one else knows why)!
2) A Smile. My hubby has this little grin. And when he shows me that authentic smile from across the room, my heart melts!
3) Special Outfit. I know there are certain outfits that he likes that I wear. And sometimes I “encourage” him to wear a certain shirt (because he looks really cute in it). It's fun to wear something that you know your husband thinks you look great in it.
4) Do Chores for Each Other. No, really! When I was growing up, my mom had a refrigerator magnet that said, “I love a man with dishpan hands.” I never fully understood that until I had a sink of dirty dishes facing me every day! If my husband cleans up the kitchen unexpectedly, I am one happy wife.
5) Cologne. I really, really like it when my husband wears a certain cologne. I always joke with him, “You smell too good to leave this house.” Speaking of that…
6) Enjoy Being Sexual Together. What is the best frequency for you as a couple? It's not about comparing ourselves to other couples. Married sex is also not about lust, but about connection. It's so easy to let making love slide as a priority, but my husband and I have found that regular times of making love bring much needed closeness and keep the spark alive between us.
P.S. Can I suggest these posts as places to get more perspective on the very sensitive (but so important) topic of married sex? Each are clean and talk about sex as a blessing in Christian marriage:
- The Surprising Secret to Better Sex for Christians
- Why Christian Marriages Need More Sex Than Ever
- 63 Incredible Resources for Better Sex in Christian Marriage
7) Write “Just Because” Texts. A “just thinking of you” text in the middle of the day is always awesome. Or even little things like letting him know you're praying for him can go a long way.
8) Love Notes. I adore these little notes! Or even a post-it note works! Sometimes I put a quick love note in my husband's suitcase if he's traveling, or I put them on his desk in our home office. This post has lots of fun spins on the love note idea!
9) Spontaneous Physical Affection. Sometimes I stop to give my husband a hug while I'm making dinner. Or I'll go into his office and give him a quick hug and kiss. Not anything that will lead to something huge, but just ways to keep the fire going.
10) Laugh! You've got to admit it–life is just darn funny sometimes. It seems like there's always something extra crazy to laugh about going on at our house. We also have a handful of movies we watch from time to time that crack us up and keep us laughing.
11) Regular Chat Times. My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. So flirting to me often equals 15 minutes alone with my spouse to talk about the day. And speaking of chatting…
12) Read the Bible Together. Each week, we try to spend several times together discussing God's word and praying over our family. I shared about that here (and how to make couples devotions a regular habit–one without guilt!).
13) Holding Hands. We try to do this while watching a movie, walking into church, going on a hike, etc. With four kids around us, it's not easy, but when we remember to do it, it's a wonderful way to flirt. Here's more resources on how to be more physically affectionate with your spouse.
14) Sit Close to Each Other. We heard at a marriage conference once that our brains are affected on a chemical level when we simply holds hands with our spouse or somehow let our bodies touch. That's amazing to me!
15) Massage. Sure, there can be dedicated times of couples massage (here are some great couples massage tips!) but everyday things like rubbing his neck while he's driving are simple and easy ways to flirt with my husband!
16) Watch a Romantic Movie Together. Here's a great list of romantic movies to inspire flirting with your spouse!
17) Build Your Relationship. Keep your relationship light, your friendship strong and your marriage centered on Christ. Here is an amazing devotional to build connection and conversation that will keep your marriage strong (and filled with flirting!)
18) Regularly Enjoy Date Nights. Here's how we make it happen… even as busy parents of four kids!
Other Awesome Books to Help You Learn How to Flirt with Your Husband
The Mediterranean Love Plan: 7 Secrets to Lifelong Passion in MarriageRed-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle
Other Marriage Posts That Can Inspire Flirting
- 57 Top Romantic Movies for Stay at Home Date Nights
- Why Christian Marriages Need More Sex than Ever
- Why a Daily Check-In Makes All the Difference in Our Marriage
- 130 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Spouse
- 26 Ways Busy Parents Can Have More Date Nights
- The Surprising Secret to Better Sex in Christian Marriage
More Romance and Flirting in a Marriage Starts with Better Communication
Communication and marital closeness make romance and flirting natural and fun! One of the best ways we've found for maintaining closeness is by working through a couples devotional together.
If you'd like some great wisdom for spiritual growth in your marriage (including a proven, 30-day roadmap to better marriage communication), I highly encourage you to check out our pick for best couples devotional: Consecrated Conversations from Mike and Carlie Kercheval.
This awesome couples devotional from my dear friends (and marriage coaches) Mike + Carlie Kercheval goes deep on important topics that matter to Christian couples (everything from forgiveness to communication issues to better sex). I love that it's goal is to help you create the healthy habit of better marriage communication in 30 days or less!
This best-selling couples devotional has helped over 16,000 couples build a better marriage!
The Kerchevals, certified marriage coaches, Bible teachers and an awesome married couple of over 21 years, will introduce you to a 30 day, step-by-step proven process for learning:
- how to pray together as a couple
- how to read the Bible as a couple
- how to better communicate about important marriage issues
With three sections in each devotion (including a Bible verse, “Converse & Reflect” questions, and a sample prayer), this marriage resource encourages couples to discover intimacy in marriage like never before.
Go here to download your copy of Consecrated Conversations.
Hey there! I will be putting together a post on this in the near future… stay tuned. 🙂 I will be sure to link it to the post when it’s up. 🙂
You mentioned you had a hand full of movies that make you both smile… what are they? Need some new funny movies to add to our list….
Thank you! I’m so glad that it sounds like you and your husband have a wonderful connection in your marriage! Those “behind the neck kisses” are the best. 🙂
Hi Alicia I stumbled on this today & just love it! My hubby always touches me when we pass each other or when I am busy making breakfast he will comeup from behind & kiss me in the neck. We do most of what u have on your list just have to work on the couples devotions lol but thanks alot
Great ideas. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
Woo hoo!! Awesome! Thank you so much!! 🙂
Awesome! Thank you so much, Katherine!! Appreciate it!
I love this post. Thank you for sharing at the Thursday favorite Things blog hop. watch for your feature tomorrow xo
This is a wonderful post for encouraging intimacy with your spouse. It’s the very reason why you are my feature post for the Over the Moon Link Party #15. Congratulations and we’ll see you on Sunday evening at 6 PM. Thank you so much for sharing!
Awesome! Yay! Love lunch box notes. Thanks for sharing!
Woo hoo!! Congrats on 46 years!! That is an incredible accomplishment.
Awesome, I’m glad they blessed you! Thanks, Marva!
Thank you, Valerie!!
I agree! It’s important to flirt with your spouse and have fun! Thank you for sharing this at #100HappyDays!
Oooh… these are some great tips, Alicia! I’m pinning now for later reference. 🙂
Great tips and many of them I still use after 46 years of marriage. It works.
Thanks for sharing in Coffee and Conversation! I used to leave notes in my husband’s lunch box all the time… your post has inspired me to start doing that again. 🙂
Hi Jem! Thanks! I’m glad you found these tips helpful! Have a great day!
Great tips! I love to see if there is new ideas floating around to randy things up around here!
Congratulations on your win over at the pinterest game!
JEM
The Pinterest Game
Co-host
Woo hoo! So glad to hear it! And congrats on 14 years together!
Long live flirting! 🙂 🙂
Those tips are great. My txt today to my husband was, “we need to do bills tonight” yep that is about it. I will now send him a much better txt. Thanks for the tips. It looks like you are doing great on The Pinterest Game, congrats on the win this week. Thanks for playing.
I believe that flirting with my husband (using many of the techniques you’ve listed) is the one thing that has kept my marriage strong and happy for nearly 14 years.
Those are some of my favorites too! And yes, I agree that flirting keeps things fun. 🙂
For sure! It’s a habit that we have to work at including after we’re married. Thanks for sharing!
Love this! Thanks for sharing, Laurie!
This list makes me smile. Great suggestions! My husband and I often share a smile from across the room over something one of the kids say, or something on TV that sparks a memory. The best way I have found to flirt with my spouse is to get involved or ask questions about the things he loves. Thank you for sharing with us at Snickerdoodle Sunday! Pinned and tweeted 🙂
~Laurie
LOVE this! So fun. Flirting definitely goes to the bottom of the list once married, so this is a great reminder!
I love doing #6, #11, #12 and #13. Flirting with each other keeps things lively. Great tips 😉
Awesome, Meredith! That’s great to hear! Yes, I think it is just lots of little things that build up.
I love this list! I love how easy they are to incorporate into any day. The ideas are so small and so easy, but can really make a big difference. I’m already thinking about which ones I can start doing today : )
How fun, Rebecca! Love that!! 🙂
Great tips! My husband always leaves me little notes on the mirror, the coffeepot, etc when he’s traveling for work 🙂
Awesome! That’s a great idea! Thanks for sharing!
I love these! I always leave my husband a love note in his lunch box 🙂