304: Stop Negative Thought Spirals: “Get Off the Mat” + “What Thoughts Will You Let Land?” (Mental Fitness Series)
Do you deal with negative thought spirals? You have the ability to take control of your thoughts, and today I want to show you how. This is first episode of our mental fitness series where I’ll share practical tools and powerful reminders of what’s possible when we choose which thoughts we allow to “land” in our minds.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- [01:23] What is Mental Fitness and How Does It Help with Negative Thought Spirals?
- [05:04] It’s Up to Us: Will We Rise to the Challenge and Take Control of Our Thoughts and Emotions?
- [11:27] We Must Choose to Take Control of the Lies and False Mental Narratives That Keep Us Stuck
- [15:19] We Must Decide That Mental Discipline Is Worth Training For
- [17:53] Try This Practical Skill to Take Control of Negative Thought Spirals
[01:23] What is Mental Fitness and How Does It Help with Negative Thought Spirals?
There are many aspects of managing our emotions, and this one has been brewing in me for about six months. A friend of mine recently described this concept perfectly by calling it “mental fitness”.
Mental fitness is the idea that we have to have a certain discipline in our thoughts: an accountability for what is going on inside of us, and a willingness to push through, persevere, be consistent, and pay attention. Many of us talk about this, but we miss it because our thoughts and emotions happen between our ears. We are the only ones who fully know our thoughts (besides God, of course), so it is easy for them to go unrecognized and unaddressed.
Today is the very first episode in this series on mental fitness, and today, we are going to talk about the skills that are an essential element to emotional confidence. We need to be able to call ourselves out, be completely honest, and have the skill set of noticing when we are on that slippery slope of wallowing, procrastination, overthinking, and perfectionism. We need to make sure we are not perpetuating the problem by letting unchecked thoughts take control. That means being willing to call ourselves out when necessary. Yes, the first step is acknowledging what we are feeling. But then, we have to go deeper and discern and take charge of what is really happening in our minds.
[05:04] It’s Up to Us: Will We Rise to the Challenge and Take Control of Our Thoughts and Emotions?
Throughout the Bible, we are reminded that we must train ourselves to take control of our thoughts, bodies, minds, and every part of our soul so that all of it comes under the authority of Christ.
1 Timothy 4:7-8 says, “Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.”
How many of us work out (or have the desire to work out) and eat right every day? We can all raise our hands even if we do not incorporate this into every routine. This is a good thing and not something we want to stop. But at the same point, many of us have forgotten that growing in godliness starts with simple discipline, training, and awareness of what we are thinking about.
Our actions are shaped by our thoughts. If we are not aware of what we are thinking, including the beliefs forming within us, the emotions surrounding them, and the actions they drive, we will find ourselves constantly resisting God in the process of sanctification. And sanctification is a key reason why we are still here on earth.
When we enter into a saving relationship with Christ, we are called to spread the gospel and be His light in the world. But as we shine His light, we are being sanctified to look more like Him, and part of that transformation begins with our thoughts. We must train ourselves. We cannot sit back and wait for someone else to do it for us. Learning to recognize and take responsibility for our thoughts is a crucial part of growing in faith and becoming who God has called us to be.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts, and we teach them to obey Christ.”
There are powerful words in here, such as destroy, capture, and teach. It is this idea of submission, and we need to recognize that we are in a battle every day for our minds. If the enemy cannot get us to believe that God does not love us, he will begin to allow us to live in these places where we doubt ourselves and where we do not challenge these thoughts. He loves to let us spiral in our mess.
This does not mean we shun ourselves when things come up. It means that we start to recognize what is going on inside of us and find tools to help us address these things. It is our job to take control and change our thoughts.
Romans 8:5-6 says, “Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the spirit. So, letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death, but letting the spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”
This idea first came up in Episode 302 with Mark and Jill Savage, where they shared about Mark's infidelity and how negative thoughts took root in his mind, leading him to believe lies. He initially tried behavior modification, but that was not the real solution. True change began when he acknowledged his thoughts and made a conscious decision to focus on the truth, aligning his mind with God’s nature and the things that please the Spirit. Instead of dwelling on thoughts that led to destruction, he chose to take control of his thinking, allowing transformation to begin from the inside out.
Another concept of this is in Joshua 24:19, which says, “But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Some of us have seen the cute plaques at Hobby Lobby that say things like, “But for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” But I need to ask you, do you take this to heart? Do you think about this in the context of your own thoughts and emotions? Are you willing to take that stand in your mind and say, “No, no, no, this is not what God wants me to focus on; this is not the truth.” Not slipping into the downward spiral of “I am a bad person or I am a horrible Christian”, but instead acknowledging, “You know what? It makes sense that I feel this way butt it does not mean I have to stay here.”
We can recognize these thoughts, have compassion for ourselves but also remind ourselves that we do not have to dwell in this mindset because this is not the reality God calls me to focus on.
Do we believe these promises of God when we are in a battle? We want to believe all the good promises like, “God is with me, God loves me, God will bring us peace,” and those are true.
But we need to recognize that some of the other promises include that when we are in a battle, our job is to show up and fight. Are we willing to fight in these areas of our thoughts and emotions? Are we willing to say, “I am not going to let this perpetuate in my head any longer.” We have to be the ones who take responsibility for that because no one else is going to do this for us.
[11:27] We Must Choose to Take Control of the Lies and False Mental Narratives That Keep Us Stuck
We also might find ourselves saying, “That is true, but my situation is different.” Here is a story that has always been very convicting for me. It is John 5:2-9 which says, “Inside the city, near the sheep gate, was the pool of Bethesda with five covered porches. Crowds of sick, people blind, lame, or paralyzed, lay on the porches. One of the men lying there had been sick for 38 years. When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time. He asked him, ‘Would you like to get well?’”
This is a very interesting question to ask someone who has been sick for 38 years. Wouldn’t you think the answer is obvious? But Jesus, in His wisdom, knew that a deeper issue was happening here. The man responds, “I can't sir. The sick man said, For I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up, someone else always gets there ahead of me.”
Do you hear the excuse there? He has told himself that there is no way for the healing to happen, that there is no other alternative, that this is his fate, and he has just resigned himself.
Do you hear the pity party? Yes, it might be the reality that no one is there to put him in the pool, but what are some different actions he can take to take responsibility for the situation? What are some different questions he can ask?
In verse 8, Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat and walk.” This reminds us that the power is not in needing to go down to the water; the power is in choosing to believe that God is with you and can heal you.
Do you believe this truth, and are you willing to take action? That is what Jesus was really asking this man that day. It was an invitation to step into a new reality, to take control of the narratives that had kept him stuck and decide, “I am not living in that place anymore”.
And here is the truth: only we can make that choice. Jesus did not force the man to stand up, pick up his mat, and walk. Just like God will not force us to change. He extends the invitation, but we have to choose to step forward in faith.
In verse 9, it says, “Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking.” The lesson here is not just “follow God, and He’ll heal all your problems.” Yes, God heals and performs miracles, but the thing keeping this man from healing was not that no one would put him in the pool or that others got there ahead of him. It was his own thinking. He was stuck in a mindset of limitation, a cycle of death thinking instead of life thinking.
So we have to ask ourselves: Are we stuck in that same place? Friend, are you stuck in that place today? We need to discipline ourselves to recognize these patterns – not with shame, because God always offers grace, forgiveness, and a way forward, but with awareness. We have to be willing to see: Part of the problem is how I am thinking about this, and the truth is, I am the only one who can change that.
[15:19] We Must Decide That Mental Discipline Is Worth Training For
Here are another couple of powerful verses that apply:
1 Corinthians 9:25-27 says, “All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise. I fear that after preaching to others, I myself might be disqualified.”
My husband and I have done “75 Hard” for a couple of years now, and for 75 days, you commit to yourself: working out twice a day for 45 minutes, drinking a gallon of water, reading 10 pages of a nonfiction book, spending time outside, and more.
At first, you are excited, motivated, and ready to go. Then, around week two, reality sets in. You start saying, “We’re only 14 days in? I still have 61 more days to go?” and by day 40 or 50, it starts feeling endless. The changes are happening, but they are challenging. It is like training for the Olympics – there are phases where you have to push to the next level, and those moments aren’t comfortable. They do not feel good. But that discomfort is part of the process. Growth requires consistency and a decision that the training is worth it.
Just like Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline is enjoyable while it's happening, it's painful, but afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”
We will have the gift of perseverance, steadfastness, endurance, and of trusting God. These are the things that we want, but they are never going to be handed to us on a silver platter. They require getting in the ring every day, showing up, and doing the reps.
In Psalm 119:75, it says, “Oh Lord, that your regulations are fair. You disciplined me because I needed it.”
We all need His discipline. This is why it is so important to take our thoughts captive. God’s discipline guides us toward truth, helping us align our minds with Him rather than getting lost in negative or destructive thinking.
[17:53] Try This Practical Skill to Take Control of Negative Thought Spirals
I do not want to sit here and say, “Take your thoughts captive, go do it, let’s go!” like we are trying to run up a hill. I just want you to get this fire inside of you, to develop this mental fitness, and to recognize that this is not something that is to be played with. It absolutely has to be part of this decision to build emotional confidence. We need to choose to take our thoughts captive, choose to recognize what is there, and choose to address these patterns. I want you to partner with God in this, but I am going to teach you a skill you can start using today.
Every time I teach this skill in a coaching session or when I am speaking on a stage, people love it. And for me, it still grounds me and helps me when I am trying to deal with these thoughts and emotions that can be uncomfortable throughout the day.
Here is the concept: We have all been to an airport and know that there is an air traffic controller working. They are the person who decides which flights land, where they land, and how they land. They have so much power in making those decisions because they have the ultimate say in who has permission to land and who does not.
This is the same authority we have over our minds and thoughts. Our brains are constantly thinking, reacting, and feeling – just like a series of check engine lights going off in response to what is happening around us. That is normal. But we are the air traffic controllers of our minds.
When a thought comes circling in, we have to decide: Am I going to give it permission to land? Am I going to let it take up residence, start unloading its baggage, and affect how I move forward?
Sometimes, it might actually be helpful to let the flight land because if a thought keeps circling, maybe it is time to pause and ask: Why does this keep coming up? What is it trying to tell me? Instead of just letting it run our lives, we can unpack the baggage, examine what is inside, and address it.
But we also have to remember that our emotions are caused by a thought, and we have the authority to not believe every thought that is in our minds. We have the authority to not allow it to land, take up residence, and change our entire days.
Some of us may not realize we have the authority to do that. We may have forgotten, have never been taught that, are in a relationship where there is dysfunction, or just feel shame in making these decisions. So I am telling you today, you have this authority, and you need to use it to battle with your thoughts. You need to be the air traffic controller of your mind, take control of these thoughts, and choose how you are going to build your mind.
Your mind is the most priceless piece of real estate in your body, and here's why: your mind tells the rest of your body how it is going to respond and react. So if there are issues that are happening in your mind, every part of your body is going to be affected by it.
That is why we have to take responsibility for our thoughts. We cannot afford to let them run unchecked. We need to be intentional about taking them captive and redirecting them toward truth. This tool can be a powerful first step in mental fitness.
I hope this was encouraging to you, and I would love to hear what resonated and what challenged you in this episode. DM me on Instagram or Facebook, or you can comment on any of the posts we have there. If you have other topics that apply in the area of mental fitness, leave them in the comments or in a review of the podcast!
RESOURCES:
Tired of up-and-down feelings stealing your peace, sabotaging your relationships, and filling your mind with self-defeating thoughts? If so, make sure to get my new book, “Emotional Confidence: 3 Simple Steps to Manage Emotions with Science and Scripture”.
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