312: What to Do When You Can’t Stop Crying, Snapping, or Shutting Down
Ever feel like your emotions are running the show—and not in a good way? You’re crying over the littlest things, snapping at everyone, or completely shutting down. You’re not broken (even if it feels like it). In this episode, I’ll walk you through what’s happening in your brain and body during emotional overload—and give you two powerful tools to calm the chaos and start responding with peace and clarity.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- [00:58] Why Am I So Emotional Lately? Understanding What’s Really Going On in Your Brain and Body
- [04:00] Which of the 4 Coping Mechanisms Are You Using? (Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn)
- [08:10] Are These Emotional Responses Permanent—or Can I Change Them?
- [09:00] Why Crying Spells and Shutdowns Become Habits (And How to Reverse Them)
- [14:00] What Am I Really Feeling? The First Step Toward Emotional Regulation
- [16:00] What’s Your Boiling Point? How to Catch Emotional Overwhelm Before It Spills Over
- [18:00] What’s Behind the Snapping and Crying? Uncovering the Hidden Emotions
- [19:00] What Is Emotional Prep + How Can It Keep You Grounded?
- [21:00] Mindset Tools to Cool the Fire: Scripture, Breathing, Journaling & More
- [25:00] You’re Not Too Far Gone: An Invitation to Respond Differently with Grace
[00:58] Why Am I So Emotional Lately? Understanding What’s Really Going On in Your Brain and Body
You know those moments when you’re in tears over something small—or you snap over nothing and wonder, “What is wrong with me?” That’s emotional overload. When your nervous system gets pushed too far without relief, it sends your body into a state of survival mode. Your brain’s amygdala, which is like your inner alarm system, gets triggered and starts treating everyday stress like it’s an emergency.
You might find yourself tense, easily irritated, or just flat-out exhausted. But you’re not overreacting. Your body is waving a red flag saying, “Too much!” This isn’t about being weak or dramatic. It’s your brain trying to protect you the best way it knows how. The good news? You can learn to listen to those signals—and respond in a new way.
[04:00] Which of the 4 Coping Mechanisms Are You Using? (Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn)
Let’s talk about what your body actually does when you’re overwhelmed. We all have go-to survival responses, and most fall into four main categories:
- Fight (The Firecracker): You get reactive, edgy, and ready to explode. You’re trying to protect yourself—even if it just looks like you’re yelling about socks on the floor.
- Flight (The Running Shoe or The Mask): You escape. Maybe it’s scrolling, working, bingeing a show—anything to avoid feeling.
- Freeze (The Ice Cube): You go numb. You don’t respond. You shut down completely and feel stuck.
- Fawn (The Trash Compactor): You appease. You say yes when you want to say no. You suppress your needs to avoid conflict.
These are not character flaws. These are coping patterns your brain learned to help you survive. But they don’t have to stay in charge.
[08:10] Are These Emotional Responses Permanent—or Can I Change Them?
Here’s the hopeful part: you’re not stuck this way. Our brains are capable of rewiring—that’s the power of neuroplasticity. You can train your brain to respond differently when emotions run high.
Every time you catch a reaction and choose something different—like pausing to breathe or turning to Scripture instead of spiraling—you’re laying a new track. It doesn’t happen overnight, but those small changes add up. Over time, emotional regulation becomes your new default.
[09:00] Why Crying Spells and Shutdowns Become Habits (And How to Reverse Them)
The more often you respond to stress in the same way, the more your brain says, “Ah, yes, this is the routine.” That’s why the meltdowns feel automatic.
But here’s the deal: even one small interruption—like taking a breath, stepping away, or praying a truth over yourself—starts to break that cycle. The brain starts to realize, “Oh, we don’t have to fall apart. There’s another option here.” That’s how habits shift. That’s how emotional strength builds.
[14:00] What Am I Really Feeling? The First Step Toward Emotional Regulation
Often, what we think is frustration or anger is actually something else under the surface—maybe grief, fear, loneliness, or even just exhaustion.
Start by checking in with your body: Is your jaw clenched? Is your breathing shallow? What physical clues are you noticing? Then ask yourself: What am I really feeling? Don’t settle for “I’m mad” or “I’m stressed.” Go deeper. When you name the emotion, you can begin to deal with it. That’s how we move out of reactivity and into healing.
[16:00] What’s Your Boiling Point? How to Catch Emotional Overwhelm Before It Spills Over
You know that boiling water metaphor I love? You are the pot. The emotions are the water. Life is the flame underneath. If your emotional “water” is already bubbling in the morning, it’s not going to take much to make it overflow by 3 p.m.
Start paying attention to how full your pot is throughout the day. Are you holding your breath? Are your shoulders tense? Are you rushing without pause? These are signs your emotional temperature is rising. Take a few minutes to cool the pot before it spills.
[18:00] What’s Behind the Snapping and Crying? Uncovering the Hidden Emotions
When we snap or cry suddenly, it’s rarely about the surface issue. Maybe someone asked you a question and you lost it—but what’s underneath? Maybe you feel unheard. Maybe you feel like you’re failing.
God wants to meet us in that real place—not just the reaction, but the deeper need underneath. That’s where the breakthrough happens. Not in stuffing the emotions or pretending everything’s okay—but in getting honest with yourself and with Him.
[19:00] What Is Emotional Prep + How Can It Keep You Grounded?
Think of emotional prep like a pre-game routine. You don’t show up to a marathon without stretching first, right?
The same is true with our emotions. When you know you’re walking into a tough moment—whether it’s a stressful meeting, a hard parenting day, or a full schedule—you can do a few things to ground yourself ahead of time. Take a few deep breaths. Journal out what’s bothering you. Pray through a calming Scripture. This gives your brain a “reset” before it has to react.
[21:00] Mindset Tools to Cool the Fire: Scripture, Breathing, Journaling & More
When the pot’s boiling, here are some tools to help lower the heat:
- Meditate on a verse like Isaiah 26:3: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast.”
- Use the 4-7-8 breathing method: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8.
- Get outside. Just one lap around the block can reset your body.
- Do a 5-minute journal dump. No judgment. Just write what’s in your brain.
These aren’t just coping tools—they’re spiritual and neurological reset buttons. They help train your body and mind to expect peace instead of panic.
[25:00] You’re Not Too Far Gone: An Invitation to Respond Differently with Grace
If you’ve been feeling like you’re drowning in emotion lately—or you’re ashamed of how often you lose it—please hear this: you’re not too far gone.
You can learn to respond with calm instead of chaos. You can train your brain and body to stay grounded. And you don’t have to do it alone. That’s exactly why I created the Emotional Confidence Club. It’s where we walk through tools like this together every week, with grace and accountability.
RESOURCES:
Want help applying what you’re learning here each week? Come join us in the Emotional Confidence Club—a hands-on learning community of Christian women discovering how to handle everyday emotions with calm, clarity and confidence. Apply now at AliciaMichelle.com/club
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