“When (and How) Should I Talk to My Kids About Sex?"

Last Updated on August 26, 2024 by Alicia Michelle

Talking to kids about sex?

For many of us, that’s about as comfortable as sleeping on top of a giant ice cube.

Let’s face it: Having the talk with our kids can be a scary thought.

We think:

“I don’t want to tell my child too much too soon;” or
“I don’t want to rob my child’s innocence.”

And then of course there’s this question:

“What in the world am I supposed to say?!”

As parents, we specifically want to know:

When should we start talking to our kids about sex?
What should we specifically be sharing with our kids about sexuality at each age/stage?
How can we broach this delicate topic with grace and dignity?

From the earliest ages, my husband and I have tried to make talking about sex with our kids a normal part of life.

But we knew that we needed a more formal way to discuss this important-but-delicate subject.

We also understood it was much easier to talk to kids about sex before they learn about sex from seeing porn.

And, yes, there were still some really tricky topics that we had no idea how to handle (um… masturbation, transgenderism, homosexuality…anyone?).

But here's the good news: My husband and I are no longer afraid to have “the talk” with our kids!

And in this post, I want to share how we've (finally!) become comfortable with this topic, and how YOU can be comfortable too!

Discover the step-by-step approach we're using to share a little at a time
Get a list of what to share about sex at each stage
Learn how we've turned awkward conversations into natural discussions
Find out how to talk about sex within a framework that honors faith-based values
Discover the one truth that made me (finally!) comfortable to share about sexuality
Find out how we're continuing to have ongoing, interesting dialogs with our kids about sex

Yes, you (and, if you're married, your spouse) can be free from the all-too-common fears surrounded with “having the talk” with your kids!

Talking to your kids about sex doesn’t have to be scary!

Let me show you exactly how we've been able to conquer these fears and turn this taboo subject into healthy, normal conversations with our kids.

“When Should I Talk to My Kids About Sex?”

The short answer? Early and often.

I want to share this infographic that I created after watching the new “Having the Talk” video course:

Helpful, right?

Although we need to let God lead us on what to share with our kids about sex at which stages, I found that just having these basic guidelines on what to cover at each age gave me some structure and peace of mind.

Here are some other powerful truths (that I learned in the “Having the Talk” course) that helped my husband and I turn awkward conversations into natural discussions :

Sex is a natural, beautiful gift given by God.
Our kids are created as sexual beings, and thus, it’s natural for them to look for answers even at the earliest ages.
Sharing about this gift with our kids (at age appropriate levels) is no different from sharing with them about other things they need to know.
We don’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) share everything about sex all at once with our kids.

These truths really brought me so much peace, especially the concept that sharing about sex is really no difference from sharing with kids about other things they need to know about life.

And guess what? This is only a tiny sample of the powerful, comforting words of wisdom for parents found in Luke and Trisha Gilkerson's “Having the Talk” course!

The Gilkersons do an excellent job of de-mystifying this topic and providing parents high-quality information that they can share with their kids about biblical sexuality.

The course contains 8 video lessons, 3 bonus lessons and a digital copy of The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality–all for only $47!

The Talk course topics:

Lesson 1: Too Much Too Soon? How to know when to begin talking to your kids about sex.
Lesson 2: Created Male and Female. Talking to kids about the differences in male and female anatomy.
Lesson 3: Be Fruitful and Multiply. How to communicate the function and purpose of sex with your kids.
Lesson 4: Celebrating Life. A lesson on the beginning of human development.
Lesson 5: The Intimacy of Sex. Communicating the importance of sex within a marital relationship.
Lesson 6: The Theft of Love. How to talk to your kids about adultery and sexual sin.
Lesson 7: Sexual Abuse and Your Child. Talking to kids about sexual abuse.
Lesson 8: Your Body Belongs to the Lord. Communicating with your children the importance of honoring God with our bodies.

plus, you'll get:

3 Bonus Lessons: How to talk to your children about homosexuality and masturbation in age appropriate ways, as well as a lesson on guarding your children from pornography.

and

Free Digital Copy of The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Use this book with your child after going through the course.

I can’t emphasize enough how helpful this video course was for my husband and I, and how I know it can help any parent.

It really has been a godsend for my husband and I as we’ve talked to our own kids about sex!

“But Aren't We Teaching Them About Sex Too Much, Too Soon?”

As adults, we are often uncomfortable talking about sex because we can see the consequences of sexuality outside of God’s plan.

We are afraid that our kids will know “too much, too soon” and thus knowledge about sex will give them “license to explore” in ways that could be detrimental.

But the “Having the Talk” course taught me that kids, especially those 10 and under, approach sex from a curiosity standpoint (not a lust-filled one).

They are sexual beings, created male and female with very distinct differences inside and out, and they are curious from the earliest ages about those differences.

Here's how the Gilkersons describe it:

We are worried about teaching our kids “too much, too soon,” however, what does rob kids of innocence is when they see unhealthy representations of sex without counsel or guidance for their parents.

And our media-drenched culture is only too happy to teach our kids those unhealthy sexual representations (often too much, too soon). In fact, so many of our kids are under spiritual attack in this area.

Therefore, it’s imperative that we parents establish ourselves early on as the source for information on sexual topics, much in the same way that we demonstrate ourselves as the information source for other topics that our kids learn about.

And “Having the Talk” gives parents the much-needed tools to have these discussions about sex!

If we can understand that the best way for our kids to learn about sex is slowly and gradually (in the same way that we teach math or reading) then sharing about sex seems a whole lot more doable.

P.S. If all of this still makes you hesitant and uncomfortable, it’s OK! Many of us feel this way!

I would highly recommend that you check out the “Having the Talk” course.

Not only will it give you a simple method for sharing with your kids about sex, but the course was designed specifically to ease parents’ nerves about this topic!

I so appreciate the biblically-based, wise counsel that the Gilkersons offer in this course—and I know you’ll love it too! Learn more about the course here.

Or, if you're still not sure, try out the FREE sample mini course they offer!

Friends, I've only shared a small amount of all the wonderful information contained in “Having the Talk”!

Talking to kids about sex doesn't have to be scary! Let this course give you a step-by-step approach to having these conversations.

I know that you can be freed from the fear surrounding “the talk” because my husband and I have discovered that freedom after going through this course.

Get a free mini version of the course here so that you can try it out and see how “Having the Talk” can give you that step-by-step plan you need to talk to your kids about sex!

Or, just take the plunge and go through the entire course right now! It really is fantastic.

I know that this course will bless your family like it's blessed mine.

Go here now to get the strategies and (peace of mind!) you need to talk to your kids about sex.

4 Comments

Dezy says:

August 30, 2016 at 1:41 am

Interesting… thnks for the info.
Alicia Michelle says:

July 13, 2016 at 5:12 am

Yes, agreed! Super important! Thanks for sharing that!
Bewildered Mother says:

July 9, 2016 at 6:51 am

Important additions: Talk about private parts and CONSENT at preschool age. Teach them “no means no” as early as possible–starting with parents, then siblings and friends. My sons started learning at age 2 where they can and cannot touch a woman, and that they always need to ask before they hug or kiss etc.
Brittany says:

July 1, 2016 at 6:03 am

I agree with most of your advice, but there’s one thing you’re off on; sexual abuse (good touch/bad touch) should be discussed long before a child is 6. In fact it should be discussed the moment your child can understand, which is typically around the age of three.