That Makes Me MAD! How to Tackle Mommy Anger Triggers
Last Updated on August 21, 2024 by Alicia Michelle
A few years ago I noticed that I was angry. A LOT.
Can you relate?
I felt trapped, stuck and tired of my angry self.
My kids, my family, my life as a homeschool mom–these things were supposed to bring me joy, right?!
But instead they just made me SO ANGRY sometimes!! And I had no idea what to do about that.
Through much prayer and trial and error, God has grown me immensely since that time.
And now, I want to share with you what he's taught me about anger–specifically about dealing with anger triggers.
2 Steps to Tackling Mommy Anger Triggers
1) Discover what makes you mad.
We need to give ourselves permission to identify and accept what we're angry about.
We need to understand that what we're feeling is real, and lay it all out on the table.
When I identified my key anger triggers, my answers weren't surprising (and I'm guessing you can relate to more than a few of these?!) but, nevertheless, it felt GREAT to have them written down on paper:
- ungrateful hearts
- whining and complaining
- lack of obedience and willful defiance
- fighting amongst my children
2) Accept these two facts about mommy anger.
I noticed two very important things about my biggest mom triggers (and, friend, you've got to notice them too because they are the lynchpin here!). Ready?
- I wasn't in control of whether or not the triggers would come; and
- I wasn't in control of whether or not they were going to change (and my being angry about them certainly wasn't helping them to change).
However, my transformation in dealing with mom anger started by accepting this thought:
I can't control whether or not the triggers come, but I can control my response to the triggers.
When I realized that I was in control of (and responsible for) my responses, I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
So very true, Jess! We have to address how we want to face those triggers and to stop expecting them to go away. Great point!
Love this! I think it is hard with kids because you’ve got to have a fundamental switch in your thinking – most of the triggers just aren’t going to go away, so you’ve got to change how you deal with them!
Thanks so much for sharing at #FridayFrivolity 🙂
Hi Lisa! Yes, great point… we can’t expect things to be cured overnight. We need to give ourselves grace and space to change. Thanks for sharing!
I write a blog on joyful motherhood, so this post was great for me to read! I especially liked #3 – dealing with anger is a process! I get so frustrated with myself sometimes that I’m not as kind and loving as I want to be, but I forget that I’ve made a lot of progress in the last couple years! It’s silly to think that an issue I’ve dealt with for years is going to suddenly be perfect overnight just because I have a desire to change. It’s a process, and I need to give myself some grace in the process. Thanks for the reminder!
You’re welcome, Niki! Thank you for stopping by and for the encouragement! 🙂
Great post, thanks so much.