I've heard this over and over from moms everywhere: I never knew I had anger issues until I had children. You understand, right? We're not abusive or violent. But darn it, those kids can trigger anger in us like no one else. Here's my story... and what I'm doing to FINALLY CONTROL MY MOMMY ANGER.

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  1. This couldn’t be more true! My twins were fighting terribly on Good Friday and I “reminded” them about what Jesus was preparing for on that day two thousand years ago. A few hours later my kids emerged from their rooms with hugs, telling me how much they loved and appreciated me and our family. I think sometimes even we need to give our little ones time to use their own thoughts. Great post. I will definitely be using these great tools!

  2. I’m usually a pretty patient person, but gee whiz, these kids of ours can sure set us off sometimes, can’t they? Thanks so much for sharing this great post at #FridayFrivolity this week!

  3. As mothers we have so many claims on our time that we sometimes just can’t cope. I’m sure this post will help many mothers out there so thank you for sharing with us at #OvertheMoon.

  4. Hi there, Thank you for posting. I was at my whits end a little while ago and definitely didn’t respond in a lower tone, but I will try that approach next time. Thank you again.

  5. Wow. What a powerful story! I think we’ve all had those moments, Pam, where we get angry and we say/do something that we never thought we would. How amazing that, although it was difficult for your daughter at the time, she has been able to come full circle now and to relate to your struggles as a young mom! Now that I’m a mom, I have encountered that situation many times where I can relate to situations that happened in my childhood with my mom. I get it a lot more.

    Thank you for your great encouragement in this area. My desire is to share whatever the Lord is teaching me, and to allow Him to guide me in my online ministry to women. I’m so glad that you stopped by from Grace and Truth and I pray that you stop by again! Blessings to you, and thank you again for sharing your beautiful story!

  6. Hi Alicia!

    What an excellent post! My children are now adults with children of their own, but I so much wish I would have had this post ‘back then’. It didn’t happen often, but my daughter and I both recall my worst moment when she was running in the house (We did not have a large house and the rule was not to run because it really was not a safe activity.) and knocked over a very special ceramic handmade angel a good friend had created for me. I lost it that afternoon. It had been one too many things that day and then I didn’t think the angel could be replaced which added to my ire. What stopped me cold was seeing my daughter frightened at my outburst. She would often kiddingly tell the story of that afternoon and confided that she had wet her panties out of her fear. Ouch!! Then I recall the day well when she called me to say she would never bring it up again even I jest because she had just had one of those “mom moments of anger” herself and she heaped grace and mercy on me for that time years ago when I lost it! Keep putting these great helps out there. They are on point and very encouraging! Visiting today from the linkup at Grace and Truth.

  7. I love what you have to say here! I love that you say that “children are people with preferences.” That is so true. There is so much wisdom in your words. Thank you for sharing!

  8. Jenn, YES, I totally agree! If we can keep that thought of “What would I do if I were in public right now?” it can make a big difference! I appreciate that you’ve shared your story here! Blessings to you!

  9. My biggest triggers come at night time. Mostly not going to bed and messing around, tantrums (which I despise) and just being slow doing things.

    When I feel like I’m going to blow my top, I stop, take a deep breath (it’s very intentional) and remember that children are people. They are people that have preferences. Just like adults who are asked to do things they don’t want to do, they will push back.

    So, I just calmly ask again and explain why I am asking.

    If I do make a mistake, I immediately apologize and tell them that they don’t deserve that type of talk from me or anyone else. It’s not right. Everybody makes mistakes, and mom is no exception. Then I go about my calm steps – but at that point, they do what I said – cause they are just scared. I don’t like them being scared of me.

  10. Wow, this is such a great post! I can get so incredibly angry with my little guy. I know logically he is just too small to really know what he’s doing, but I can easily get so impatient with him. I love the scriptures you shared, especially the simple beatitude on being a peacemaker. Something I heard recently that can help me put things in perspective is that I wouldn’t get mad or yell in social situations – if I can control my anger there, surely I can do so at home as well. I just need to find a better way to get it out! Thanks for sharing!

  11. Ooooohhhh, yes… tantrums are a huge anger trigger for so many of us! The power in learning what our anger triggers are is that we don’t have to be surprised when they happen (and we react with anger). We can anticipate them and therefore plan strategies in those “cooler-headed” moments. Walking away and cooling off is a great strategy.

    For me, I often find myself not only angry that the situation happens, but angry that it keeps happening over and over! So part of my anger strategy has been acceptance–accepting that this is where my child may be emotionally/developmentally, and that I need to stop being surprised by this. Not that we don’t try to help our kids to grow out of this stage or out of this behavior (because we do want to do this), but instead we can accept that change takes TIME and that we don’t have to be mad when the behavior keeps happening. Hope that makes sense.

    Praying for all of us as we continue to sort out these mom anger moments and seek to bring blessing to our kids (and to not inflame the situation).

  12. Hi Michele! Yep. I’ve had to send myself to my room many times too. LOL! Thank you for the encouragement. And yes, it is my prayer that many folks will be helped by my story and by how God is changing me. Thanks for sharing!

  13. The struggle is definitely real with mom anger! It’s a moment by moment choice and struggle around here, too. I’ve found that my biggest trigger is when my little man back-talks and throws tantrums when he’s told to do something seemingly basic, and many times I have to walk away for a minute and cool off to keep from yelling and worsening the situation.

  14. I have sent myself to my room a good many times during those days of little kids and lots of churning emotions. I’m sure this post will help a good many women who are in the trenches now!

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