How to Make SMART Marriage Goals with Your Spouse

Last Updated on August 22, 2024 by Alicia Michelle

Whether it’s a wedding anniversary, a new year or anytime you and your spouse are ready to grow your marriage, setting marriage goals is always a great idea.

What are some examples of marriage goals? While there’s no perfect list of marriage goals for every couple, I’ve gathered 23 marriage goal examples (everything from how to have a better sex life to how to improve communication) to inspire you and your spouse.

Ready to set some awesome marriage goals and grow your marriage relationship? Let's get started!

23 Examples of Marriage Goals

I’m not suggesting that you attempt all of these marriage goals, or even that all of these goals are applicable.

Instead, prayerfully read through this list of marriage goals and determine which ones could potentially be areas that you could invest in your marriage this year.

And, of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list. You may think of specific marriage goals you want to work on together that aren’t mentioned here.

I’ve also included links to helpful posts so that you can get additional resources and information on some of these topics.

discovering practical daily rhythms for regular marriage communication
learning how to talk about difficult topics
learning how to become more spiritually connected
discovering clean Christian sex resources with tips to improve your sex life
finding ways to have more date nights
learning how to argue less and communicate better
discovering practical ways to manage ongoing marriage issues
determining when to keep silent and when to share about a tough issue with your spouse
reading a few good books this year about marriage
discovering simple flirting habits to keep the spark alive
finding practical ways to say I love you in everyday moments
fixing big unresolved issues in your marriage
dealing with unrealistic or unmet expectations in marriage
working together to get out of debt
learning how to have healthier conversations about family finances
learning how to pray together for your family
working together toward better work-life balance
discovering ways to serve together in ministry this year
making plans for home improvement projects or hobbies to do together
learning how to help each other through personal life difficulties (such as chronic illness)
brainstorming ways to simplify or streamline daily family life
working on strained extended family relationships
discovering a healthier diet or lifestyle and/or starting an exercise regimen together

5 Steps to Successfully Set Marriage Goals

1) Prayerfully consider potential marriage goals opportunities.

Take some time to individually write down some goals for your marriage. What parts of your marriage need some extra encouragement? What areas of your marriage are strong but with some small tweaks could be even stronger?

Be honest and grace-filled as you write down these words. No marriage will ever be perfect. Be encouraged that all of our marriages are continually in flux and are greatly affected by the other circumstances in our home (parenting issues, job issues, extended family issues, etc).

If you need ideas of marriage goals or areas of your marriage to consider, take a look at the list above (and check out the links for additional info about these marriage topics).

2) Compare your individual marriage goal lists and discuss.

Then share your list with your spouse. Which marriage goals did you write down? Which marriage goals did your spouse write down?

Where was there overlap in your marriage goals? Were there any areas of marriage growth that your spouse wrote down that surprised you?

Talk about the marriage goals you each wrote down, doing your best to not point fingers or cast blame.

3) Compile your marriage goals list into 2-4 items.

Decide together which are the top 2-4 marriage goals that you’d like to pursue together this year.

Rewrite those items on a piece of paper titled “Our Marriage Goals”.

Brainstorm any resources that may be helpful to meet those goals and write them in the right hand column (remember—click on the links above to see resources, ideas and freebies for several of the marriage goals).

4) Draft SMART marriage goals.

Next, create SMART (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and timely) marriage goals for each item on your list.

For example, if you have a marriage goal to grow closer spiritually as a couple, your SMART marriage goal might be:

“Our marriage goal is to read a couples devotional together every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening for 20 minutes after the kids are in bed.”

P.S. Go here to learn more about SMART goal planning (and why it's so effective!).

5) Stay accountable to your marriage goals.

Commit to talk about your marriage goals at least once a month (perhaps on a once-a-month date).

Better yet, share your goals with another couple so that they can hold you accountable (maybe they can set some marriage goals too and you can hold them accountable as well).

Are you making progress toward your goals? Do you need new resources or to shift things up? Tweak your goals as needed.

What If My Spouse Doesn’t Want to Set Marriage Goals?

Totally get it. Your marriage may be at a place where it’s impossible to talk reasonably with your spouse about goal setting. I completely understand if setting marriage goals just isn’t possible right now.

The good news is that you are still able to set marriage goals! Of course marriage goals are much easier met when both spouses are in agreement and can work together, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t work on your part of the marriage issues.

I’ve learned that marriages shift and change in different seasons. Sometimes one partner feels like they’re giving 90% of the work (and that’s incredibly frustrating). If you are stuck in one of those places, I highly encourage you to keep seeking God and to keep doing the right thing in your marriage. You can read more about my story on this topic here.

Free Helpful Resources for Marriage Goals

Discover free practical marriage advice that will encourage you toward your marriage goals.

Is Better Communication One of Your Marriage Goals? Here's a great resource:

If learning how to have better communication with your spouse is one of your marriage goals, I highly encourage you to pick up a great marriage devotional (here's my favorite, Consecrated Conversations, written by my dear friends, Mike and Carlie Kercheval).

This awesome couples devotional from my dear friends (and marriage coaches) Mike + Carlie Kercheval goes deep on important topics that matter to Christian couples (everything from forgiveness to communication issues to sex). I love that it's goal is to help you create the healthy habit of better marriage communication in 30 days or less!

This best-selling couples devotional has helped over 16,000 couples build a better marriage!

The Kerchevals, certified marriage coaches, Bible teachers and an awesome married couple of over 21 years, will introduce you to a 30 day, step-by-step proven process for learning:

how to pray together as a couple
how to read the Bible as a couple
how to better communicate about important marriage issues

With three sections in each devotion (including a Bible verse, “Converse & Reflect” questions, and a sample prayer), this marriage resource encourages couples to discover intimacy in marriage like never before.

Consecrated Conversations is a digital resource, which means my husband and I don't need to carry a book around because we have this powerful couples devotional available right on our phones or tablets. Yes!

And there's a bonus video workshop ($97 value!) and 30 scripture cards ($17 value) to go with the devotional!

I love how practical this couples devotional is, and how Mike and Carlie really encourage couples to invite God into their marriage discussions. Only God is the one that can bring true satisfaction, contentment and unity in marriage, right?

I also appreciate that Consecrated Conversations understands the big needs of Christian couples: that we want to communicate and connect with our spouses and we're disappointed and hurt that we can't seem to make it happen. Consecrated Conversations is a specific, proven roadmap for a closer marriage for Christian couples.

I highly recommend this marriage devotional to many couples as the best couples devotional out there! Order your copy here.

P.S. Did I mention that this couples devotional experience (that includes an e-book, a video workshop, and scripture cards) is an INSANE value?! It's only $47 for $161 worth of content.

Seriously, the Consecrated Conversations Devotional is an amazing bible study experience to do with your spouse! What are you waiting for?

GO HERE TO GET CONSECRATED CONVERSATIONS

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